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Cultivate a Warrior Mindset - Alex Bales

Cultivate a Warrior Mindset - Alex Bales

Alex is a transformational life coach. Trust me when I say he has the life experiences to back up what he’s learned. Changing yourself to become your true authentic self is not easy. It takes work and it takes time. He reached a point in his life when he was suicidally depressed and was planning his way out when he had an epiphany: “You don’t need to exit your life, you just need to die to the old version of yourself.” The old version is not the real you anyway. His is a powerful story and Alex was able to transform himself. If you have suffered addiction or any mental health issues you may want to reach out to him. Message him at

Instagram: Sober Fit Alex

Facebook: Alex Bales

Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:07.320 Hey, Dr g here. Thank you for listening to moving up stream without 2 00:00:07.320 --> 00:00:11.119 a paddle. I would like to work with businesses, authors, coaches and 3 00:00:11.160 --> 00:00:15.960 the like who understand the importance of shifting perspectives to obtain the results we're looking 4 00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:19.800 for. And please to announce that moving up stream without a paddle is now 5 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:24.879 offering commercial spots to be air during the episodes. If you believe your organization 6 00:00:24.960 --> 00:00:29.079 would benefit from advertising on the PODCAST, I would love to have you be 7 00:00:29.160 --> 00:00:33.880 a part of this continuously growing show. Let's get connected and inspire the world 8 00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:42.759 together. WHAT'S UP, everybody? Back again and this time with a very 9 00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:49.719 special guests and Alex Bales. Alex as a personal trainer, turn transformational, 10 00:00:49.719 --> 00:00:55.359 try I can't say that, transformational life coach who focuses on teaching people how 11 00:00:55.399 --> 00:01:00.799 to overcome self sabotage and addictions in their life. His mission is to show 12 00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:06.719 adults howto seamlessly break from that negative from the negative cycles and too self fulfillment 13 00:01:06.840 --> 00:01:11.200 and reinvent their lives to create authentic happiness. Now, I had a pre 14 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:15.799 interview with Alex and he has a pretty phenomenal story, so I'm really, 15 00:01:15.799 --> 00:01:21.000 really anxious to get into it and let you guys here, so we will 16 00:01:21.040 --> 00:01:27.079 be doing that right after this. Welcome to moving up stream without a paddle, 17 00:01:27.319 --> 00:01:32.079 the podcast that helps develop a mindset for success. I'm your host, 18 00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:36.519 Dr Garrett Coggins, but most people call me Dr g. Now I've dedicated 19 00:01:36.599 --> 00:01:41.280 my life to helping others understand that if you have the proper mindset, you 20 00:01:41.319 --> 00:01:47.439 can propel yourself up that proverbial stream with no pad on needing after constantly feeling 21 00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:51.680 like you're going against the flow, but you're never happy with your results, 22 00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:55.719 it's really time to flip your mindset. If that's something that you're ready to 23 00:01:55.760 --> 00:02:14.080 do, you've come to the right place. Now let's get to it. 24 00:02:14.199 --> 00:02:17.120 Hello, Alex, welcome to the show. Yeah, Hey, thank you 25 00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:21.240 for having me. I'm so excited to be here and I'm really grateful for 26 00:02:21.280 --> 00:02:25.599 the opportunity. I came across your podcast a while back. You're interviewing someone 27 00:02:25.639 --> 00:02:29.080 I knew, Amber Miller, and I listened to it and I thought it 28 00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:32.240 was amazing, so I reached out and yeah, you know again, I'm 29 00:02:32.280 --> 00:02:36.240 just so grateful to be here at such a great opportunity and I appreciate that 30 00:02:36.280 --> 00:02:38.680 you get that. You're given that to me I mean, after hearing your 31 00:02:38.719 --> 00:02:45.080 story, though, I had to is like because it's it's a piece that 32 00:02:45.159 --> 00:02:47.879 I mean we've had some similar types of stories on here, but they're just 33 00:02:47.919 --> 00:02:53.439 always so motivational and you know, in Amber's amber's episode is probably one one 34 00:02:53.479 --> 00:02:58.080 of my most listen to. So it's it's a I'm glad you glad you 35 00:02:58.080 --> 00:03:00.560 listen to and you liked it and I'm really happy that you came on the 36 00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:02.520 show. But I mean, let's get into your story, because it's really 37 00:03:02.520 --> 00:03:07.560 how I start everything off and it really drives the conversation and I feel like 38 00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:12.800 it's going to connect with people in ways that I don't even think we could 39 00:03:12.840 --> 00:03:15.080 imagine. So if you don't mind, just take the MIC and let's just 40 00:03:15.159 --> 00:03:17.680 go over the what you do, why you do it and how you got 41 00:03:17.719 --> 00:03:22.479 there. Sure, absolutely so. I've got kind of a long story, 42 00:03:22.520 --> 00:03:24.680 but I'll try and make it as clear and concise as possible and hit the 43 00:03:24.680 --> 00:03:29.439 main points as I go. So right now I am a full time personal 44 00:03:29.479 --> 00:03:34.759 trainer and I run that full time during the week and then I ought just 45 00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:39.080 recently run launched my life coaching business. So you can find me on instagram. 46 00:03:39.080 --> 00:03:44.199 THAT SOBER FIT ALEX or on facebook at Alex fails. The focus of 47 00:03:44.240 --> 00:03:50.240 my life coaching business is all about helping people seamlessly break free from addiction and 48 00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:53.879 emotional trauma in their life to help them create a life of health and enjoy 49 00:03:53.960 --> 00:03:58.680 that they've always dreamed of. So really, ultimately, that's all rooted in 50 00:03:58.879 --> 00:04:01.479 and my story and how my pain has become a passion in my purpose. 51 00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:06.800 So you know, as a young kid I was always a super shy, 52 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:13.479 sensitive, intuitive and empathic kid. I actually used to get sat home and 53 00:04:13.520 --> 00:04:15.720 sent to the social worker because I would like cry before I would get on 54 00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:19.560 the bus and I would I would cry when I would go to school because 55 00:04:19.560 --> 00:04:24.199 I didn't really feel like I fit in with the other kids. It was 56 00:04:24.199 --> 00:04:29.519 super embarrassing and kind of became problematic because that was growing up. I didn't 57 00:04:29.519 --> 00:04:31.600 really aspect actually fit in with like a lot of the guys that were like 58 00:04:31.639 --> 00:04:36.279 playing with like toy cars and swords and things like that. That being said, 59 00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:40.639 at a very young age I actually took to sports. We found out 60 00:04:40.680 --> 00:04:45.319 that I was pretty athletic and I started like getting involved in that and I 61 00:04:45.319 --> 00:04:47.759 played travel sports growing up as a kid. So I spent my ntaw entire 62 00:04:47.959 --> 00:04:53.759 childhood traveling around on different travel teams during the summer, and then I played 63 00:04:53.800 --> 00:04:59.040 school sports as well. As I got into early high school, I was 64 00:04:59.079 --> 00:05:03.680 having a lot of success in sports. So I actually was on Varsity as 65 00:05:03.759 --> 00:05:08.199 a freshman for football. I didn't play, but I went to a really 66 00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:11.439 big high school that puts out a lot of really good, high level athletes, 67 00:05:12.199 --> 00:05:15.079 so for me to even be on Varsity as a freshman was a big 68 00:05:15.120 --> 00:05:19.439 deal. The being said, as time went on I always kind of struggled 69 00:05:19.480 --> 00:05:25.199 with my mental health and during this time I had an individual that I was 70 00:05:25.240 --> 00:05:29.600 involved with during my time in multiple sports, in both baseball and football, 71 00:05:29.600 --> 00:05:34.920 and my relationship with this individual was extremely traumatic and looking back, it's really 72 00:05:34.959 --> 00:05:41.000 been the catalist of all of my issues with mental health and my run with 73 00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:46.279 addiction. You know, some people handled it, some of the guys handled 74 00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:50.360 it just fine, but for me, being very sensitive, intuitive and empathic, 75 00:05:50.439 --> 00:05:57.160 it was extremely problematic for me. So this individual would like shame me 76 00:05:57.240 --> 00:06:02.040 and the rate me and say things that were very degrading and very hurtful to 77 00:06:02.120 --> 00:06:05.279 me, and it really took a toll on me over time to a point 78 00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:11.639 where I was like scared to make mistakes. I instead of like playing, 79 00:06:11.720 --> 00:06:15.639 I was I was like acting in a way that I just didn't want to 80 00:06:15.639 --> 00:06:18.040 mess up because I was like I felt like I was playing sports and quicksand 81 00:06:18.120 --> 00:06:24.040 like I couldn't move because I was so traumatized and in fear. So my 82 00:06:24.079 --> 00:06:29.639 performance drops so bad that I ended up actually getting, quite embarrassingly so benched 83 00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:33.680 as a junior in both baseball and football, and then I didn't even end 84 00:06:33.720 --> 00:06:40.079 up playing football as a senior and I played baseball as a senior, but 85 00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:44.240 it didn't go very well. You know, initially I always thought I was 86 00:06:44.279 --> 00:06:48.120 going to play Division One sports, but ended up actually just taking an academic 87 00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:54.000 scholarship to a division three school. I think they just pulled some academic money 88 00:06:54.040 --> 00:06:57.680 because at division three they don't give athletic money. So I was like, 89 00:06:57.720 --> 00:07:00.759 okay, you know, this is a no brainer, I'll just do that. 90 00:07:00.759 --> 00:07:03.360 That summer graduating high school as a senior was the first time that I 91 00:07:03.399 --> 00:07:09.040 started drinking. So, in reflection, I don't think I've ever drank and 92 00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:13.759 not gotten drunk or black out, and it wasn't like an everyday thing at 93 00:07:13.800 --> 00:07:17.160 that point, but it was the first time that I like started dabbling with 94 00:07:17.199 --> 00:07:23.959 that thing and going down that path and I ran myself and I ran myself 95 00:07:23.959 --> 00:07:27.199 into the ground. I wasn't really taking care of myself. And the ironic 96 00:07:27.240 --> 00:07:30.959 thing was that I was like a goody two shoe kid grow up like I 97 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:34.720 grew up in a very traditional, conservative Christian family. I was always against 98 00:07:34.720 --> 00:07:42.199 like drinking and substance use, and that's what all the guys were doing when 99 00:07:42.199 --> 00:07:44.600 I was in high school, like so I didn't really fit in and that 100 00:07:44.680 --> 00:07:46.600 regard either. As I went on, I pretty much lost all my friends. 101 00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:49.600 So I was alone and then when I started dabbling with this stuff, 102 00:07:49.639 --> 00:07:55.000 I finally found a crowd of people that accepted me, although they didn't really 103 00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:58.040 accept me. I just fit in with what they were doing. So I'm 104 00:07:58.120 --> 00:08:03.079 drinking and partying all summer for the first time and I go away to college 105 00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:07.560 and two weeks into being away at college I get what's called Epstein Bar Virus. 106 00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:13.720 So Epstein Bar Virus is basically an extreme version of Mano. I would 107 00:08:13.720 --> 00:08:18.839 take antibiotics and then it would go away. As soon as I cease the 108 00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:22.000 antibiotics, Epstein Bar would come back. My throat would swell shot, I 109 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:26.000 would be spiking. He's a hundred and two, a hundred three degree fevers. 110 00:08:26.079 --> 00:08:30.680 So it took them about six months to figure out that it was Epstein 111 00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:33.879 Bar virus. I ended up transferring home. I had to have surgery, 112 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:39.879 I lost about fifty pounds and it turned into chronic fatigue for about a year 113 00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:43.679 and a half. At that point, I was back home, didn't have 114 00:08:43.759 --> 00:08:48.080 a whole lot going for me and I had some friends that I had played 115 00:08:48.120 --> 00:08:50.600 sports within high school that were now in the fitness scene and they were like, 116 00:08:50.639 --> 00:08:54.799 hey, why don't you dabble with steroids and on a bolocks? Maybe 117 00:08:54.840 --> 00:08:56.320 this could be something that you could take two and it would be a good 118 00:08:56.320 --> 00:09:01.360 way for you to get your health in your strength back at high speed. 119 00:09:01.360 --> 00:09:03.919 And I was like sure, why not? Like this seems like an okay 120 00:09:03.960 --> 00:09:07.080 idea. I didn't have anything else going for me at the time. So, 121 00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:11.360 like anyone with that is an addict or an alcoholic like myself, you 122 00:09:11.399 --> 00:09:15.360 know, a ten week cycle of it turned into a three year span with 123 00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:20.600 it and and I really believe that that that was really what opened the door 124 00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:22.919 to a lot of my demon so to speak. I don't think that necessarily 125 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:28.279 that the anabolics were bad, but when you start injecting yourself with things, 126 00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:33.480 I think you really start to open yourself up to a lot of possibilities because 127 00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:37.080 you've kind of crossed that line of fear. If you'll inject yourself with something, 128 00:09:37.080 --> 00:09:41.360 what won't you do? Like anyways, I'm moving forward, get into 129 00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:46.279 a really nasty relationship, verbally abusive, intaxic, both on my end and 130 00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:50.759 hers. Left my home. My family did not approve of the relationship, 131 00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:56.399 so I just ditched out and left and went and lived with her family and 132 00:09:56.480 --> 00:10:01.120 the relationship wouldn't completely sour to a point where, I'll be honest, I 133 00:10:01.159 --> 00:10:03.879 was a coward and I didn't know how to deal with my emotions at the 134 00:10:03.879 --> 00:10:09.320 time and instead of facing up to the problems and facing up to the relationship, 135 00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:11.080 I actually left, and just left in the middle of the night one 136 00:10:11.159 --> 00:10:18.399 night and I moved back home, and this is where things really started to 137 00:10:18.440 --> 00:10:24.519 get bad. So I'm super depressed, super apathetic and I basically started using 138 00:10:24.600 --> 00:10:28.320 activity to fill the void. So I was working out, I was training 139 00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:35.960 Jiu Jitsu, I was working a high level supervision position for a company and 140 00:10:35.039 --> 00:10:37.960 I was going to school full time and doing quite well at that, along 141 00:10:39.000 --> 00:10:43.960 with partying and drinking two bottles of wine a day or or popping, you 142 00:10:43.960 --> 00:10:46.879 know, six to ten pills a day just to get through the day. 143 00:10:46.639 --> 00:10:50.000 And I ran myself into the ground and I got to a point where I 144 00:10:50.039 --> 00:10:54.720 woke up one day and I felt like detached from my body. I couldn't 145 00:10:54.759 --> 00:10:58.480 even function. I was in a fog, I couldn't think straight. So 146 00:10:58.519 --> 00:11:03.120 at this point, I basically let go of everything besides the job that's paying 147 00:11:03.159 --> 00:11:07.039 the bills and the substances that are numbing me to the world around me, 148 00:11:07.440 --> 00:11:11.840 and I was going to work. I would work all night long, I 149 00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:16.519 would come home, I would drink two to three bottles of wine straight out 150 00:11:16.519 --> 00:11:20.279 of the bottle, I would drink an entire container of night well, then 151 00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:24.879 I would sleep all day long. I would wake up and I would either 152 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:28.120 use coke or Amphetamans to wake me up and to get me through the night. 153 00:11:28.120 --> 00:11:33.200 So I'm running the cycle for about two to three months straight and I 154 00:11:33.240 --> 00:11:35.600 never took the time to deal with the issues that were going on inside of 155 00:11:35.600 --> 00:11:39.679 me. I had built this big body, I had built this lifestyle in 156 00:11:39.720 --> 00:11:45.360 this appearance, but internally I was broken and so I got to a point 157 00:11:45.360 --> 00:11:48.360 where I couldn't take it anymore, and so I was suicidally depressed and I 158 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:52.000 was planning the way, my way out. I was going to kill myself 159 00:11:52.080 --> 00:11:56.639 and in my darkest moment, I had a spiritual awakening and I was going 160 00:11:56.679 --> 00:12:01.399 to do it, and God said to me, like no, this is 161 00:12:01.440 --> 00:12:05.840 okay, like this is going to be the best thing that ever happened to 162 00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:09.159 you. Now, now you know what you what you don't want to be 163 00:12:09.200 --> 00:12:11.960 and who you're not. So now you can go out and create who you 164 00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:16.519 do want to be. And I always thought like to die, to physically 165 00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:20.000 die and put myself in the ground, would be such a release. But 166 00:12:20.120 --> 00:12:24.960 I realize that all I really needed to do was to die to the old 167 00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:28.519 version of myself and all the old ideas of myself that were no longer serving 168 00:12:28.559 --> 00:12:33.000 me. Like I realize we can die to that person that we were fifteen 169 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:35.960 minutes ago and create ourselves new again at any given moment. And now that's 170 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:39.759 what I want to do. I'm here to I'm here to share my message 171 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:43.240 with people that there's another way, like you can do this, and we 172 00:12:43.679 --> 00:12:46.720 all have pain and we all have trauma, but you can really transform that 173 00:12:46.919 --> 00:12:52.120 and it's really necessary for your growth and when you just embrace it and and 174 00:12:52.159 --> 00:12:54.519 allow it to become your path, your passion and your purpose, I think 175 00:12:54.559 --> 00:13:01.440 that that's where the powers out. Yeah, so, man, that story 176 00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:05.440 like there's there's a lot there. There's so much going on, and that 177 00:13:07.320 --> 00:13:09.320 you know. And then everybody goes down that path, but I think everybody 178 00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:11.440 has these little triggers it. But you were a path, you know, 179 00:13:11.480 --> 00:13:18.679 you you just spiraled and spiled and spiraled and, and I love I mean 180 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:24.559 just the death. And I think that, and I'm pretty sure that's what 181 00:13:24.679 --> 00:13:28.159 you said and when I first taught to you too, is because it resonated 182 00:13:28.240 --> 00:13:31.120 so much that there's this this time that and whether you, whether you were 183 00:13:31.159 --> 00:13:35.759 have addictions or you just are hit at a rock bottom state, there's there's 184 00:13:35.799 --> 00:13:39.679 a death, that happens and then there's the rebirth, right, and that, 185 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:43.080 I think, that's what just so inspires me about your story, is 186 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:48.080 that here you are, you go, well, now there's let this person. 187 00:13:48.200 --> 00:13:50.879 I do U sure to choose the person that you wanted to be, 188 00:13:52.039 --> 00:13:54.720 or actually, the way you said it, which I think is even more 189 00:13:54.720 --> 00:14:00.159 profound, is the person who you truly are, so that the other person 190 00:14:00.320 --> 00:14:03.960 wasn't you. It was just you were masking all these things with the drugs 191 00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:09.759 and all that, and so, but you went through this whole story and 192 00:14:09.799 --> 00:14:11.440 then you're like, and then I had this rebirth, but and yeah, 193 00:14:11.559 --> 00:14:16.240 it's all done. But I don't I don't feel like your journey just ends 194 00:14:16.279 --> 00:14:18.519 there. And I think this is really could. We had your mindset before, 195 00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:22.200 but now let's look at your mindset now, from from that point when 196 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:26.919 the rebirth or death and rebirth happen. What what did that look like like? 197 00:14:28.080 --> 00:14:31.200 Was it a struggle? That you have relapses, I mean, but 198 00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:33.720 what was that journey like? Yeah, absolutely, and I you know, 199 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:37.720 there's even more to my story to like you know, I've been arrested all 200 00:14:37.799 --> 00:14:39.759 kinds of stuff. But, like I said, I tried to hit the 201 00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:43.080 main points and as far as my journey goes like so, I just talked 202 00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:48.559 about death. The first thing I had to do was I had to surrender 203 00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:54.039 to my current state. So I used to get down and I'm a believer 204 00:14:54.200 --> 00:14:56.759 in God and I believe in a higher power, just personally, and I 205 00:14:56.759 --> 00:14:58.799 have no dogma as to what other people believe. But this is just me. 206 00:15:00.200 --> 00:15:01.559 So I used to get down on my hands and knees and I used 207 00:15:01.559 --> 00:15:07.080 to say, God, I am desperate. Whatever you got for me, 208 00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:09.240 I'm willing to do it. Just take this pain away from me, take 209 00:15:09.279 --> 00:15:16.000 this addiction away from me, take the suffering away from me and just surrendering 210 00:15:16.159 --> 00:15:22.000 and dying to that. It's like we but din to that there was with 211 00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:26.000 death comes life, like the life came back into me because, for the 212 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:28.879 first time, I was honest and authentic about where I'd been, like, 213 00:15:30.039 --> 00:15:33.399 how I felt about things, what had happened to me, who I had 214 00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:37.440 done wrong to and what that was able to do, that I was actually 215 00:15:37.480 --> 00:15:41.960 able to receive. So, for the first time in my life, I 216 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:46.080 actually asked out for help and, ironically, somebody that I was very close 217 00:15:46.120 --> 00:15:50.120 to had told me that they were an alcoholic and they would talk to me 218 00:15:50.120 --> 00:15:52.639 about meetings and how it had changed their life. So I reach out to 219 00:15:52.720 --> 00:15:56.279 this person and I'm like, Hey, this is what's going on with me. 220 00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:03.080 I feel out of control and I just I really could use some help. 221 00:16:03.120 --> 00:16:07.960 I had no expectations and this individual was like, Hey, this is 222 00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:11.720 going to be this is awesome, like super, super cool, glad you 223 00:16:11.799 --> 00:16:15.200 called like let's go and I was like, oh, that really wasn't what 224 00:16:15.279 --> 00:16:21.039 I was expecting. So I went to my first meeting and it was super, 225 00:16:21.080 --> 00:16:25.080 super eye opening. I remember I went to my first meeting and the 226 00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:27.480 bar that I would go to was right down the road and I remember thinking 227 00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:30.960 I'm going to go to this meeting and I'm going to walk straight down to 228 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:33.840 the bar afterward when I'm done, but I didn't end up happening. I 229 00:16:33.879 --> 00:16:37.720 went and for the first time in a long time, I found it. 230 00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:40.440 I found a community in a group of people that I fit in with, 231 00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:45.519 people that had more radical and extreme stories than me, and they were just 232 00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:52.000 so welcoming and just even putting myself out there was was extremely empowering at that 233 00:16:52.039 --> 00:16:57.399 point. So at that point I started to work on myself and I developed 234 00:16:57.480 --> 00:17:02.720 my my tenets of health slowly over time, but I think it's worth a 235 00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:06.680 mention that I made it eight months two times in a row and then relapsed 236 00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:14.079 and fell off. So the first time I relapsed, in reflection, I 237 00:17:14.119 --> 00:17:18.000 was really still in a state where I was scared of judgment and scared of 238 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:21.680 sharing my story. So I would go out with people and they would talk 239 00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:26.480 about people in their lives who had substance abuse problems or drinking problems or were 240 00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:30.279 addicts or alcoholics, and they would judge them and I was scared to be 241 00:17:30.279 --> 00:17:33.200 honest and authentic about who I was still at that point. So I relapsed 242 00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:37.440 and I went off the wagon, but I came back and I tried it 243 00:17:37.480 --> 00:17:45.480 again, and the second time I was I realized that that didn't that didn't 244 00:17:45.519 --> 00:17:48.799 matter anymore and I came back to it and I gave it another try. 245 00:17:48.839 --> 00:17:56.599 And the second time I relapsed and I thought I would just get sober. 246 00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:59.519 I thought eventually I would get to a point where I would just be able 247 00:17:59.559 --> 00:18:03.519 to drink normally. I still wasn't truly honest and authentic about who I was. 248 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:07.279 And the second time I relapsed, I realize that I can't drink normally 249 00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:11.079 or I can't use like everybody else. I don't have the power in the 250 00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:17.440 ability to just drink normally or to use normally. And so I needed both 251 00:18:17.480 --> 00:18:21.920 of those because they broke down my ego. They helped me to continue to 252 00:18:22.359 --> 00:18:26.799 really let go of these things and to continue to surrender to who I wanted 253 00:18:26.920 --> 00:18:30.119 to be. And then this third time I've really really nailed it down, 254 00:18:30.160 --> 00:18:34.160 and the big key and the big component for me was working on myself, 255 00:18:34.200 --> 00:18:40.119 and I've developed my like my five tenants of health over time. So my 256 00:18:40.119 --> 00:18:45.720 five tenants are, do you get enough exercise and movement? What's your diet 257 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:51.680 like? Do you have relationships that cultivate you? Do you have a spiritual 258 00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:56.200 practice, and do you get enough rest or sleep that allows you to feel 259 00:18:56.279 --> 00:18:59.519 good moving forward in your life? And so I started working on each of 260 00:18:59.559 --> 00:19:03.960 these five tenants over time, and one thing I had to do with that 261 00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:07.079 too, is I had to let go of all the emotions of the past. 262 00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:11.559 I had to break free from those chains. So we live in like 263 00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:17.039 a society where everybody's very caught up in their emotions at this point. Everybody's 264 00:19:17.160 --> 00:19:22.400 feeling things, and that's okay. Emotions are the language of the body. 265 00:19:22.440 --> 00:19:23.920 But that being said, you've got to go out there and you got to 266 00:19:23.960 --> 00:19:29.480 start taking conscious action that aligns with the person that you want to be, 267 00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:33.039 and that's what I think I did. I went out there and I took 268 00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:37.680 action and with that my mindset started to shift. Yeah, well, I 269 00:19:37.720 --> 00:19:42.920 think that's that's I call it. If the power of practice right, it 270 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:48.880 practices, not practice, practice. It's the alignment of your belief system and 271 00:19:48.920 --> 00:19:52.519 your in your attitude and everything with your action. So you can have these 272 00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:56.480 these conscious beliefs, these conscious thoughts and all that, but until your actions 273 00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:59.920 are in alignment with that, there's not really much just going to happen. 274 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.119 Right, and a lot of people have this idea that when we think, 275 00:20:03.240 --> 00:20:06.640 the positive thinking of it's all great, and yes, it's a very important 276 00:20:06.680 --> 00:20:11.680 aspect and in moving forward in life, but you can think positively on the 277 00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:15.279 couch all day long and nothing's going to nothing's going to happen is when your 278 00:20:15.319 --> 00:20:18.759 actions are in line with those thought that's going on. That's when things really 279 00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:22.960 start. Your mindset shifts and and you begin to notice, you know, 280 00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:27.640 the things start to line up the way that you needed to to find successes. 281 00:20:29.079 --> 00:20:33.880 But I like going back a little bit when you were talking about when 282 00:20:33.880 --> 00:20:37.160 you surrender to who you were, and I think you know, with Aa 283 00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:41.319 and a lot about those other people, pieces of when they did with addictions, 284 00:20:41.359 --> 00:20:44.920 there's this piece at first you have to admit that there's a problem, 285 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.400 right and and even though you know it is, there's something about it. 286 00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:52.039 When you can come out and say look, this is my issue, this 287 00:20:52.119 --> 00:20:56.160 is where I'm at in life, and I remember with with my alcoholism aspect, 288 00:20:56.160 --> 00:20:57.359 I did a lot of that in secret. And it sounds like you 289 00:20:57.400 --> 00:21:00.039 did a lot of it in secret and and all of a sudden when you 290 00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:03.279 just when you shed the light on that, when you say look, this 291 00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:07.200 is what I've been doing, and then you're like it's almost free right. 292 00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:11.880 It's almost like that alone takes a lot of that burden off of you and 293 00:21:11.880 --> 00:21:18.319 it really kind of helps to shift a little bit. But this the site 294 00:21:18.359 --> 00:21:22.759 that we just we don't admit that to ourselves. We just keep going and 295 00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:26.039 we accept this idea that, well, this is just who I am. 296 00:21:26.039 --> 00:21:27.920 Well, that's not who you are. And when, and I love how 297 00:21:27.960 --> 00:21:32.640 you said, then you surrender to the person that you you want it to 298 00:21:32.640 --> 00:21:36.279 be, or who you truly were. And then, and that's the inner 299 00:21:36.279 --> 00:21:37.759 part, and you said that too, like you started to work on the 300 00:21:37.799 --> 00:21:41.680 internal piece and that's when the external starts to go. But when you surrender 301 00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:45.079 to who you truly are, that's when you can start shutting off these limiting 302 00:21:45.160 --> 00:21:51.960 beliefs and because that's that's imposter syndrome, right. Is the things that we're 303 00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:55.559 doing there that are not generating the successes that we have in life. Those 304 00:21:55.559 --> 00:22:00.039 are limiting beliefs. That's imposter syndrome and you can remove that clothing surrender to 305 00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:03.559 that higher person that you're supposed to be, you're meant to be, and 306 00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:06.799 then everything begins to get in line. And so you really just kind of 307 00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:11.640 just broke down the whole high level process of getting that mindset right and really 308 00:22:11.720 --> 00:22:17.000 jumping into it. It's surrendering to the person you're supposed to be and begin 309 00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:21.480 doing the action that are in line with that person, and it's so important 310 00:22:21.559 --> 00:22:26.839 to do that. Yeah, absolutely, I think, like anybody who's going 311 00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:30.839 through something like that, like it the effortless and easy if you allow it 312 00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:34.480 to be. So. I was tell people the biggest thing with addiction or 313 00:22:34.519 --> 00:22:40.400 anyone with a substance abuse problem. Everyone thinks that the the first step is 314 00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:44.839 admitting that you have a problem, and I actually would contradict that and I 315 00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:48.519 would say that the first step is giving yourself permission to be authentic and honest 316 00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:52.400 with yourself about who you are before you even say it out loud. Giving 317 00:22:52.400 --> 00:23:00.680 yourself permission is really all about just allowing yourself to receive what life has for 318 00:23:00.759 --> 00:23:03.079 you, and I think that that's where the powers that we spend so much 319 00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:10.319 time trying to make things happen or are trying to force things, but really, 320 00:23:10.400 --> 00:23:14.160 ultimately, I think the way that we create a new reality for ourselves, 321 00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:17.599 and I think everybody can do this, as we just we have to 322 00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:21.920 get first clear and set an intention on where we want to go, and 323 00:23:21.960 --> 00:23:26.720 then we we allow it by taking the actions to move forward towards the direction 324 00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:30.119 of our dreams, but not being so obsessed with how it comes I've had 325 00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:34.240 a lot of times where I've moved forward in my journey and overcoming addiction and 326 00:23:34.279 --> 00:23:38.640 trauma. We're doors have gotten closed on me and I've gotten super, super 327 00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:42.359 frustrated and felt like I was never going to get where I wanted to be. 328 00:23:42.640 --> 00:23:45.720 But you never know what's going to come into your life. Like you 329 00:23:45.799 --> 00:23:49.039 might go and take a job that you initially didn't want to take. That 330 00:23:49.240 --> 00:23:52.960 doesn't seem like it makes sense, but you don't know who you're going to 331 00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:55.480 go and meet at that job, who's going to connect you to the right 332 00:23:55.519 --> 00:23:59.920 person at the right place at the right time. You might not want to 333 00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:03.519 go to a meeting you might not want to hire a coach and and reach 334 00:24:03.559 --> 00:24:06.680 out for help, but you never know what's going to happen. You never 335 00:24:06.759 --> 00:24:11.839 know what insight, one small change of mind, can completely change the way 336 00:24:11.880 --> 00:24:22.000 that you see the world. Do you have the next big thing that world 337 00:24:22.119 --> 00:24:26.359 changing? Which mccaull it? Do you have a story to tell? You 338 00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:30.519 need a website. You need the web spinners at Webin it with big picture 339 00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:36.319 solutions. Leaving together Seo, stellar web design and Social Media Integrations, you'll 340 00:24:36.359 --> 00:24:41.440 find yourself developing your latest and greatest thing idea or telling that next chapter in 341 00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:45.559 your story. Why? Because your audience is ready for it. With them 342 00:24:45.640 --> 00:25:00.359 up today at webinittcom. And remember, you're not everywhere unless your Webin it. 343 00:25:00.559 --> 00:25:03.799 You're finding value in this podcast. You should really check out where it 344 00:25:03.799 --> 00:25:07.359 all began. See, I wrote the book moving up stream without a paddle 345 00:25:07.480 --> 00:25:11.640 as a guy to develop the foundation for successful mindset. Learn what I believe 346 00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:17.160 to be four of the most fundamental principles to finance success in any endeavor, 347 00:25:17.319 --> 00:25:21.559 and if you apply these principles in your own life, you will indeed find 348 00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:26.359 that you can move up stream with no paddle needed. Get it on Amazon 349 00:25:26.400 --> 00:25:34.240 today. Well, and that's that's it's some well, first, let me 350 00:25:34.319 --> 00:25:37.640 go back. I love your first step, because that's very true. You 351 00:25:37.640 --> 00:25:41.440 have to give yourself permission to do that. Yeah, because that's that's really 352 00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:45.279 the release, that's the hope, that's the step that allows you to move 353 00:25:45.319 --> 00:25:48.079 forward, and and and and that aspect. And then I love we don't 354 00:25:48.119 --> 00:25:52.920 care about the how right. We just go for what it is we want, 355 00:25:52.920 --> 00:25:56.200 set the goal go and and then, just people aren't in tune enough 356 00:25:56.240 --> 00:26:00.319 with they're in with those inspirations. That happen as you're going through this journey 357 00:26:00.359 --> 00:26:04.160 and a door closes and we and there's all these inspirational quotes out there, 358 00:26:04.200 --> 00:26:08.440 that you know when that door closes, it's not closing you to an opportunity 359 00:26:08.519 --> 00:26:11.880 is closed and you just something that wasn't meant for you to begin with. 360 00:26:12.200 --> 00:26:17.119 And so let's let's do the pivots, and that's why pivoty is so important. 361 00:26:17.160 --> 00:26:22.720 And but then, but some people have those inspirations for these jobs that 362 00:26:22.720 --> 00:26:26.079 they don't want to have to do. But that's the opportunity, that's the 363 00:26:26.119 --> 00:26:30.200 stepping stones, those are the pieces that are really going to get you to 364 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:33.759 the end result, because it like you were saying it. Those are the 365 00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:41.039 the the the people and and the resources and all the stuff that are coming 366 00:26:41.079 --> 00:26:45.079 into your life that is just going to put the whole, the whole puzzle 367 00:26:45.119 --> 00:26:48.599 together. And so it's very important piece and you can know what right because 368 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:53.200 we have that internal voice that happens. Sometimes it screams, sometimes it just 369 00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:56.680 speaks softly, but you really have to be in tune with what that is 370 00:26:56.880 --> 00:27:02.960 to really navigate through all these aspects that you're talking about. Yeah, absolutely, 371 00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:06.279 and I think that that's how we know, like we know the move. 372 00:27:06.359 --> 00:27:08.480 So I believe that our higher spot, higher power, speaks to US 373 00:27:08.480 --> 00:27:14.079 through synchronicity. So if something excites you and it continues to show up in 374 00:27:14.119 --> 00:27:18.240 your life, that's probably the path and that's okay. Like, like I 375 00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:22.920 said, it might not make sense to you exactly in that moment what's going 376 00:27:22.920 --> 00:27:26.480 to happen or how it's going to play out, but I promised that I 377 00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:30.319 believe that the universe or God, whatever you believe, has a plan for 378 00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:33.480 you and that there's a path for you. I'd also like to say that, 379 00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:37.480 like at the root of every addiction, ultimately is actually it's giving yourself 380 00:27:37.480 --> 00:27:42.319 permission for self love, when I was drinking or when I was using, 381 00:27:42.359 --> 00:27:48.519 and I remember like I would take sixteen or seventeen pills at a time sometimes. 382 00:27:48.519 --> 00:27:51.960 I mean it was insane. Ultimately, and reflection, what I was 383 00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:57.680 doing was I was actually giving myself permission to love myself, because we're spiking 384 00:27:57.680 --> 00:28:02.240 our state when we do that and it would make me feel better. I 385 00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:04.720 just couldn't get there on my own at the time. So I think that's 386 00:28:04.759 --> 00:28:10.000 really powerful to acknowledge that, that when you have those addictions and those things 387 00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:15.759 that you have to come those emotional traumas, like, you have the acknowledge 388 00:28:15.799 --> 00:28:19.160 that you have the desire to love yourself. That's what it is. You 389 00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:22.759 just need to figure out how to do it on your own. Yeah, 390 00:28:22.839 --> 00:28:26.839 without the kid. Well, that's true. It is a very valid point, 391 00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:30.279 because what is what are those doing? That? They're the they're breaking 392 00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:34.200 down this chemically breaking down the barrier, right, breaking down the walls that 393 00:28:34.200 --> 00:28:37.359 we put up because we don't want to face things or we don't want to 394 00:28:37.359 --> 00:28:45.119 deal with things, and loving yourself in that aspect. It's we're taught that 395 00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:48.079 that looks like it's a selfish it's a selfish act. Right, then we 396 00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:51.359 don't want to be selfish. We don't want to look at that in ways. 397 00:28:51.720 --> 00:28:55.519 One there's that Steg when that there too. It's I don't know and 398 00:28:55.680 --> 00:29:00.720 I can't really there's so many aspects that really do that were it just seems 399 00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:07.480 like it's a FOPA thing to to care about who you are and but it's 400 00:29:07.480 --> 00:29:11.680 an important piece and and we can't give we can't. A lot of us 401 00:29:11.880 --> 00:29:15.920 are dealing with this philanthropy aspect right. We want to give, we want 402 00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:18.759 to do so much for the world, we want to do so much for 403 00:29:18.759 --> 00:29:22.279 our family, for our kids, for our friends, but we can't give 404 00:29:22.279 --> 00:29:26.160 what we don't have. And so that's why it's so important to love yourself. 405 00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:29.039 You can't give love unless you have love for yourself. This just, 406 00:29:29.079 --> 00:29:33.480 it's just. It seems weird, but it's there's truth to that. is 407 00:29:33.559 --> 00:29:37.359 virtually impossible to give what you want to give without taking care of yourself. 408 00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:41.480 That's why I say with selfless there's always a big piece of selfish. You 409 00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:45.279 have to there has to be there. Yeah, yeah, there's like an 410 00:29:45.279 --> 00:29:48.599 I we and an we and an all. Component the way I see it, 411 00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:52.920 and I think that someone I look up to, Paul Chack has something 412 00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:56.880 similar, but this is something that I've kind of thought of on my own. 413 00:29:56.920 --> 00:30:00.240 So like it has to start with I like I have to be the 414 00:30:00.279 --> 00:30:04.160 one to heal myself first. Then there's the Wei, which is people are 415 00:30:04.200 --> 00:30:08.720 in your immediate circle around you. If you're healed, you can help other 416 00:30:08.839 --> 00:30:15.039 people heal around you. Once you start to heal everybody else around you as 417 00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:18.599 a community, people start to come together and expand the healing and then all 418 00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:23.000 of us can come together, heel together and create something beautiful and powerful. 419 00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:27.759 Yeah, know, that's that's again very a lot of great points. Is 420 00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:30.839 a lot of truth of that. Didn't and think about what's going on there 421 00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:33.960 too. So when you when you are focused on the eye, when you're 422 00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:38.440 where, you're healing the internal when you're making all this happen, and we 423 00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:42.279 can start going to the vibrational state right so when we're not in tune with 424 00:30:42.279 --> 00:30:45.480 ourselves, we're not healing ourselves, we're not doing the self love, we're 425 00:30:45.480 --> 00:30:49.799 in a negative vibration. We start to feel that and really put that in 426 00:30:49.839 --> 00:30:53.599 they were raising that vibration. We're getting the right people around us because they 427 00:30:53.680 --> 00:30:59.240 were attracting the proper people who are going to uplift us, and then that 428 00:30:59.319 --> 00:31:03.759 whole that then you have this whole community where as one person rise, the 429 00:31:03.799 --> 00:31:07.440 other one is rising too, and that's when people start off on entrepreneurship right 430 00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:11.400 and they start going to these networking events and all this and they go, 431 00:31:11.680 --> 00:31:15.559 wow, I'm just getting myself around all these people. That's because they're lifting 432 00:31:15.599 --> 00:31:19.720 you to their level now, and that's networking in so it is so important. 433 00:31:19.720 --> 00:31:23.119 But you're going to only once you leave that networking event, you'll just 434 00:31:23.160 --> 00:31:27.240 go right back down. So it's important to start here, lift that and 435 00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:30.240 then it flows, just like you said that then the we happens, then 436 00:31:30.279 --> 00:31:37.000 the whole community happens, and it's just a truthful statement. Yeah, absolutely, 437 00:31:37.039 --> 00:31:40.599 and I think the important thing to to realize is your healing is not 438 00:31:40.599 --> 00:31:44.759 going to happen in a day. Yeah, so, like, going back 439 00:31:44.759 --> 00:31:48.640 to what I said, I talk a lot about whether it be with clients 440 00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:52.599 or on podcasts that have been I talked a lot about giving yourself permission. 441 00:31:52.680 --> 00:31:56.920 Giving your self permission means to allow. So start small and just do the 442 00:31:56.920 --> 00:32:01.200 best you can with the situation at hand and then allow yourself to evolve over 443 00:32:01.319 --> 00:32:06.400 time. Allow, like I said, doors will be shut, but then 444 00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:09.480 just keep opening the next open door, keep doing the next right thing and 445 00:32:09.559 --> 00:32:16.640 over time you'll evolve. Everybody wants the sexy answer. They want it right 446 00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:22.240 now and that's just not how behavior change and healing works. You gotta you've 447 00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:25.599 got to work at it over time. When I coach, when I coach 448 00:32:25.720 --> 00:32:30.039 somebody, I will say, let's focus on one thing at a time, 449 00:32:30.640 --> 00:32:31.799 you know. So, like I said, I've got like five tenants. 450 00:32:31.839 --> 00:32:37.000 If somebody wants to build a spiritual practice, so things that I use in 451 00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:42.599 a spiritual practice might be meditation, prayer, journaling, anything of that nature. 452 00:32:42.640 --> 00:32:45.119 I say okay, like what would resonate with you if they say meditation, 453 00:32:45.119 --> 00:32:49.119 okay, we're going to meditate for three minutes a day and we're going 454 00:32:49.160 --> 00:32:52.319 to focus on getting present. We do that for four weeks and then we 455 00:32:52.359 --> 00:32:57.079 move to the next thing and we add something to that. It's not sexy, 456 00:32:57.160 --> 00:33:00.720 it's not what everybody wants to hear. But if you focus on changing 457 00:33:00.759 --> 00:33:05.480 one thing at a time, slowly over time, twelve, sixteen, Eighteen, 458 00:33:05.559 --> 00:33:07.559 twenty, four months, two years from now, you're a completely different 459 00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:10.240 person, and that's how change happens. I think a lot of times we 460 00:33:10.279 --> 00:33:14.319 look back on our life and we're like, holy cow, how did I 461 00:33:14.319 --> 00:33:20.599 get here? And ultimiliar it just comes down to did you? Did you 462 00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:24.200 allow yourself to evolve over time? We get still so stuck in behavior patterns 463 00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:30.000 and ideas of the past that we forget that there's there's a huge world out 464 00:33:30.039 --> 00:33:31.839 there for us and there's so much opportunity if we a loted, to come 465 00:33:31.880 --> 00:33:37.680 into our lives. Yeah, well, and there's there's another aspect to that 466 00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:40.920 I think is important to bring up with this is when you are focusing on 467 00:33:40.960 --> 00:33:45.720 those one little things and you are starting to make little changes, the small 468 00:33:45.799 --> 00:33:50.279 changes in your life will again those stepping stones to get you. I was 469 00:33:50.319 --> 00:33:54.519 actually talking with someone that we were working on her little little pieces, right. 470 00:33:54.559 --> 00:34:00.400 So we generated this whole life spirit of like define who, who? 471 00:34:00.440 --> 00:34:04.079 The person is that that you know you want to be or that you believe 472 00:34:04.119 --> 00:34:07.440 is your true self. Let's defind that was really break it down. Doesn't 473 00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:10.599 get very specific about what you want in your life in totality, and then 474 00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:14.800 we'll say, like your seven tenets, right, and so that's kind of 475 00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:17.079 what I'm talking about. Now let's take one of those little piece of that 476 00:34:17.119 --> 00:34:22.679 and let's start working a little aspects of that. And what's interesting that I 477 00:34:22.719 --> 00:34:27.719 think most people will find is that when you work on that little thing and 478 00:34:27.719 --> 00:34:30.920 you're moving up, you'll start to see other little piece is of other aspects 479 00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:35.679 start to line up. Now it's not going to be full, but your 480 00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:39.400 life begins to come in alignment as you work on all these little pieces. 481 00:34:39.440 --> 00:34:44.199 But when you try to do everything, it's like people will tell you this, 482 00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:46.800 and it's true, multitasking is a farce. You can't do it if 483 00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:52.039 you can only have one thought at a time. So once you can generate 484 00:34:52.079 --> 00:34:55.599 that one piece, do that, but then the the universe, God, 485 00:34:55.639 --> 00:35:00.039 everybody's hes going tolign other things up. So when you get to a certain 486 00:35:00.039 --> 00:35:01.920 point, then you're like, oh, I don't have so much work to 487 00:35:01.960 --> 00:35:06.840 do on this aspect because a lot of it's already aligned with this. So 488 00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:09.519 but it is very important that you do those little little steps. And the 489 00:35:09.519 --> 00:35:15.719 other major aspect with that is those are small successes when you could focus on 490 00:35:15.719 --> 00:35:20.719 one little thing, then you're you're stacking those successes and you start to feel 491 00:35:20.760 --> 00:35:23.880 better about yourself and every the confidence comes in. So it's so important that 492 00:35:23.960 --> 00:35:28.239 to really, like you said, do those one little aspects at a time. 493 00:35:29.119 --> 00:35:30.920 Yeah, and everybody is scared of what they doubt know. We're all 494 00:35:30.920 --> 00:35:36.519 scared of the unknown, of going into the dark cave or nobody knows what's 495 00:35:36.519 --> 00:35:39.000 going to happen. Are you know, our ego always wants to hold onto 496 00:35:39.000 --> 00:35:45.559 something tangible that it can control or that you know, the illusion of control. 497 00:35:45.719 --> 00:35:51.000 And so I think stepping into that place of like where we don't know 498 00:35:51.079 --> 00:35:53.760 what's going to happen, that's okay. That's where we can that's where we 499 00:35:53.800 --> 00:35:58.280 have the chance to create something that we want, that's meaningful to us, 500 00:35:59.280 --> 00:36:06.079 and I think just allowing that to happen is is where it's at. Yeah, 501 00:36:06.159 --> 00:36:12.920 yeah, so let's let's that's really good conversation. I'm loving this talk. 502 00:36:13.320 --> 00:36:17.239 But let's go back to really to your to your life, because you 503 00:36:17.280 --> 00:36:22.960 got out of that and I feel like there's you went through and you had 504 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:25.800 the the the relapses, and you said the three, but you had this 505 00:36:27.079 --> 00:36:30.000 as you were doing that, I feel and I want to talk about the 506 00:36:30.039 --> 00:36:32.519 relapses a little bit because it kind of goes back into this we want something 507 00:36:32.639 --> 00:36:39.119 sexy, right, and again, with these transitions and moving through life doing, 508 00:36:39.239 --> 00:36:43.679 you know, developing new habits and overcoming these things. It's not sexy, 509 00:36:43.719 --> 00:36:49.519 though. There will be relapses, and so where were you when one 510 00:36:49.559 --> 00:36:52.960 relapse happened? A lot of people will just say I give up now, 511 00:36:52.039 --> 00:36:55.079 this is just way too hard. I wasn't meant to be again. This, 512 00:36:55.639 --> 00:37:00.840 this being an alcoholic, it's just who I am and and just then 513 00:37:00.920 --> 00:37:04.440 stop trying. But you didn't. You went through three and you kept going 514 00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:07.800 making these small realization. So what what was your thought pattern with that, 515 00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:12.920 with each of the with of these relapses? You know, when I had 516 00:37:12.960 --> 00:37:19.679 my my awakening, when I initially decided to get sober, I had quit 517 00:37:19.840 --> 00:37:23.800 on myself so many times in my life. I should have I should have 518 00:37:23.880 --> 00:37:29.199 got it out and played football as a senior just for my own sake. 519 00:37:29.679 --> 00:37:36.239 I should have continued to try to come back and play college sports. I 520 00:37:36.239 --> 00:37:39.320 should have fessed up to where I messed up in my relationship with my ex 521 00:37:39.400 --> 00:37:44.159 fiance. I didn't have the courage to do that and when I decided to 522 00:37:44.199 --> 00:37:47.679 get sober, I made a firm choice and a firm commitment to myself that 523 00:37:47.760 --> 00:37:52.760 I was never ever going to quit on myself again, because I never wanted 524 00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:57.639 to feel that feeling ever again. So each time I have fallen off the 525 00:37:57.679 --> 00:38:01.679 bandwagon and gone off the rails, you know, that feeling of wanting to 526 00:38:01.760 --> 00:38:07.639 kill myself in those those suicidal ideations have come back and I'm aware of it 527 00:38:07.679 --> 00:38:10.199 now and I just realize, okay, it's time to die. To that 528 00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:15.760 where did I go wrong? I just use everything as a learning opportunity. 529 00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:19.320 I didn't look at it as if I quit. I said, you know 530 00:38:19.400 --> 00:38:22.920 what, I'm just going to get right back on the on the on the 531 00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:25.000 path and I'm going to keep the party rocking. I'm going to keep moving 532 00:38:25.039 --> 00:38:29.599 forward and I will figure this out. I do not care how many times 533 00:38:29.639 --> 00:38:34.159 it takes, I do not care what anybody says. It does not matter 534 00:38:34.159 --> 00:38:37.639 to me anymore. I'm going to move forward and figure this out. I'm 535 00:38:37.639 --> 00:38:43.800 going to use every single failure and downfall and everything that I've been through. 536 00:38:43.840 --> 00:38:45.920 I'm going to use it as a catalyst to push me forward and to motivate 537 00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:52.639 me. And over time I did. I cultivated a warrior mindset, which 538 00:38:52.679 --> 00:38:57.480 is, I think, something that a lot of people lack. I do. 539 00:38:58.039 --> 00:39:01.880 I'm honestly, I was very weak minded growing up. I was. 540 00:39:02.039 --> 00:39:07.119 I was physically very gifted and physically very tough, but very weak in mind 541 00:39:07.159 --> 00:39:13.079 and heart. And over time all of this pain and all these relapses of 542 00:39:13.079 --> 00:39:16.679 helped me to cultivate a warrior mindset. I think that if we're going to 543 00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:20.920 do anything in life, we have to be tough, like that's part of 544 00:39:20.920 --> 00:39:24.000 life. We have to keep moving forward. So I've just taken every single 545 00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:29.239 every single pain, every single downfall, every single screw up in my life. 546 00:39:29.280 --> 00:39:32.079 I take complete ownership for it. I say this is my fault, 547 00:39:32.159 --> 00:39:36.039 what can I do about it? What can I learn from this? And 548 00:39:36.079 --> 00:39:38.119 then I just reframe it in my mind as to how am I going to 549 00:39:38.159 --> 00:39:43.800 change this moving forward, and I take the necessary action to move myself forward 550 00:39:43.840 --> 00:39:46.719 in the direction of my dreams, which is where people mess up. Everyone 551 00:39:46.719 --> 00:39:50.920 thinks of what they want and they'll get authentic about what they want, which 552 00:39:50.960 --> 00:39:52.800 is important. You have to do that, but they lack the action. 553 00:39:52.960 --> 00:39:57.079 And I just keep taking action all the time. And, believe me, 554 00:39:57.199 --> 00:40:00.639 I still fail at tons of things every single day on a regular basis, 555 00:40:00.679 --> 00:40:04.599 but I've learned to love it like I enjoy it. I'm like, all 556 00:40:04.679 --> 00:40:07.400 right, this is what doesn't work and eventually, if I just keep chipping 557 00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:12.880 through these barriers, I'm going to figure out what does right. And then 558 00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:16.079 is the reframing. I like how you said that too, because that's that's 559 00:40:16.119 --> 00:40:19.840 a big piece when you look at everything that's going on. I mean everything's 560 00:40:19.840 --> 00:40:22.639 a big piece like this. All they're all puzzle pieces. We're just trying 561 00:40:22.679 --> 00:40:28.119 to make this, put this all together. But the idea that you own. 562 00:40:28.199 --> 00:40:30.440 What happened? Right, this is my fault. I did this. 563 00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:35.159 These are that the behaviors that that need to change, and I have these 564 00:40:35.199 --> 00:40:38.239 behaviors. So that's the negative behavior. Well, what's the polar opposite of 565 00:40:38.239 --> 00:40:42.119 that? And I can say, all right, then this is where I 566 00:40:42.199 --> 00:40:45.599 need to do. But those behaviors are habitual, and this is again why 567 00:40:45.639 --> 00:40:47.400 it takes time. Habits. Let you you know, we we form habits 568 00:40:47.400 --> 00:40:51.719 over time. We have to break them over time. So when you can 569 00:40:51.760 --> 00:40:55.320 refrain, like you said, reframe this idea and then go in that direction 570 00:40:55.400 --> 00:41:00.000 and rebuild that habit and replace it, you know, that negative with the 571 00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.320 positive, then you're stronger than you can move on and these are the learning 572 00:41:04.360 --> 00:41:07.239 lesson. Then you're what you're learning. Most of what these learning lessons are 573 00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:13.840 is about you again, these are the pieces that are attached to you that 574 00:41:13.920 --> 00:41:16.599 aren't your true self. And so that's the awareness. Could you mentioned the 575 00:41:16.679 --> 00:41:22.519 term awareness and as such, an an important piece, because you said I 576 00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:24.760 was aware. Now you're aware of the triggers and things that happen to you 577 00:41:24.800 --> 00:41:30.199 and you're aware of all these little aspects. And so is that awareness piece 578 00:41:30.239 --> 00:41:34.760 that really drive the change? And then this love of you said, the 579 00:41:34.760 --> 00:41:39.760 war the the lawyer mindset and and how a lot of people are lacking that. 580 00:41:40.159 --> 00:41:45.920 But they can have it. They can, they can definitely have some 581 00:41:45.960 --> 00:41:49.599 people will just again, we lie to ourselves and say, well, that's 582 00:41:49.639 --> 00:41:52.719 just not me. Well, it's not you, because you keep telling yourself 583 00:41:52.760 --> 00:41:55.599 it's not you. Change the way you talk, change your story and you 584 00:41:55.639 --> 00:42:00.599 can become that warrior. You can have that warrior mindset. Yeah, I 585 00:42:00.679 --> 00:42:04.840 mean I always tell people I'm in a constant war with myself in my mind, 586 00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:07.519 one of my favorite techniques, and I actually like, like I said, 587 00:42:07.519 --> 00:42:13.199 so my failures and downfalls and my character defects. I actually think it's 588 00:42:13.239 --> 00:42:15.519 like really fun when they try and mess with me. At this point, 589 00:42:15.880 --> 00:42:21.280 I just sit with it, like because I developed some weird habits and and 590 00:42:21.480 --> 00:42:27.039 my time with addiction, some OCD, and when that things like that come 591 00:42:27.119 --> 00:42:30.440 up, I just sit with it and I just watch the story go by 592 00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:34.400 and I'm just like nice, try, and then I just take the action 593 00:42:34.480 --> 00:42:38.840 associated with the exact opposite direction. Yeah, yeah, as this perfect, 594 00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:45.960 this perfect. So so now you're good. We've gone through all the all 595 00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:51.599 these aspects, and then you started this life coach. So like the the 596 00:42:51.679 --> 00:42:53.880 life transformation will just we'll just call it that, because that's really what what 597 00:42:53.960 --> 00:43:00.920 you're taking people through. So when people come to you, like what's the 598 00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:06.679 what's the starting process, and that in that piece, like, what if 599 00:43:06.679 --> 00:43:09.400 people want to work with you as a coach, like what should they know 600 00:43:09.480 --> 00:43:15.960 to bring to the table first? Yeah, honestly. So I help people. 601 00:43:15.960 --> 00:43:21.920 My Niche is helping people who are already sober staysober and then create their 602 00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:25.519 dream life, and I also help people with emotional trauma, whether it be 603 00:43:25.599 --> 00:43:30.000 depression, anxiety, any type of mental health is. You do the same 604 00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.440 thing. Create their dream life and adapt their lifestyle and accordance with what they 605 00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:37.039 want to create. The first thing you would need to do to work with 606 00:43:37.079 --> 00:43:43.159 me would just simply be to add me on facebook or Instagram, and then 607 00:43:43.239 --> 00:43:45.719 you can either comment on one of my posts or you can message me. 608 00:43:46.000 --> 00:43:50.519 The thing you would need to bring to the table is just be very clear 609 00:43:50.639 --> 00:43:53.199 on your problem. You don't need to have it figured out. The first 610 00:43:53.199 --> 00:43:55.960 thing you would do is just come to me with the issue at hand and 611 00:43:55.960 --> 00:44:00.920 then I would basically hop on a call with you and we can figure out 612 00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:05.159 what the necessary steps are going to be moving forward. And usually I offer 613 00:44:05.199 --> 00:44:08.119 a thirty to forty five minute free consultation called to start, and even if, 614 00:44:08.159 --> 00:44:10.639 at the end you don't want to work with me at that point, 615 00:44:10.639 --> 00:44:14.719 I'll still leave you walking away with a plan that's going to help you to 616 00:44:14.760 --> 00:44:21.119 move forward, going forward. That's cool. Yeah, I mean, yeah, 617 00:44:21.199 --> 00:44:25.400 and do you? Do you incorporate, because you have, you were 618 00:44:25.400 --> 00:44:29.960 seeing, you have the five ten so like when someone's coming to you and 619 00:44:29.960 --> 00:44:34.159 they say will do you incorporate the all five and then and then break out 620 00:44:34.199 --> 00:44:37.480 the steps, or or is it just we're only going to focus on one 621 00:44:37.519 --> 00:44:39.840 thing and then maybe will worry about the risk? Or do you really define 622 00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:45.440 that that major piece and then break out the steps of the five tenants? 623 00:44:45.639 --> 00:44:50.559 Yeah, so what we do is we identify the problem or your pain point, 624 00:44:50.599 --> 00:44:52.360 and then we also get clear on I look at it like a tree, 625 00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:57.199 so at the top of the tree is what is your life purpose or 626 00:44:57.239 --> 00:45:00.920 what is your dream, and then from there you've got your branches that come 627 00:45:00.960 --> 00:45:02.239 down so you'd like I said, you've got your rest in your sleep, 628 00:45:02.400 --> 00:45:07.440 you've got diet, you've got a spiritual practice, you've got relationships and you've 629 00:45:07.440 --> 00:45:10.800 got exercise or movement based off of your problem and what you want to create. 630 00:45:10.880 --> 00:45:15.599 We go through and we determine which ones we need to focus on immediately 631 00:45:15.639 --> 00:45:17.360 and which ones are going to go on the back burn and then what we 632 00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:22.639 do is we optimize your life and we give you exact APP action steps every 633 00:45:22.679 --> 00:45:24.480 single week that you're going to go through and you're going to do. And 634 00:45:24.519 --> 00:45:28.519 then each week you come back to me and you get a coaching call and 635 00:45:28.559 --> 00:45:30.840 we go through, we analyze what you were doing, what's working, what's 636 00:45:30.880 --> 00:45:36.559 not, and we slowly break down barriers and pain over time to a point 637 00:45:36.559 --> 00:45:40.599 where we get you to a place where your soul whole, that your your 638 00:45:40.760 --> 00:45:45.280 have they the opportunity to create what you want in your life. Yeah, 639 00:45:45.440 --> 00:45:52.639 that's that's awesome. That does that is that's that's the way to get it 640 00:45:52.679 --> 00:45:55.760 done. This is the way to get done. So, Alex, we're 641 00:45:55.760 --> 00:46:00.280 getting close to time here and love your story. You mean, I just 642 00:46:00.599 --> 00:46:04.599 like I'm already pumped, I'm ready to go, like I just when we 643 00:46:04.599 --> 00:46:08.039 have these conversations, I just get so, so amped because of the journey 644 00:46:08.079 --> 00:46:12.039 that you went through, where you came from and and how people can really 645 00:46:12.119 --> 00:46:16.119 learn from your mistakes. And so if they're resonating with that and they like 646 00:46:16.199 --> 00:46:20.840 man, he's gone through some things that I went through and I'm now. 647 00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:22.760 I'm sober now. I want to stay sober, but I want that that 648 00:46:22.840 --> 00:46:27.039 support. And you said, what they need to do is get in touch 649 00:46:27.079 --> 00:46:29.239 with you on facebook. So, but what is what's your is it? 650 00:46:29.440 --> 00:46:30.639 Is it a group? Group? Is of the page? How can I 651 00:46:30.639 --> 00:46:34.840 get in touch with you? Yeah, I run everything just off my regular 652 00:46:34.880 --> 00:46:38.000 facebook page. So you just search Alex Baal's be a ls or you can 653 00:46:38.039 --> 00:46:43.000 find me on instagram. That's sober fit Alex. you'll see all my contents 654 00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:45.440 of content. I'm posting stuff from all the PODCASTS I've been I recently. 655 00:46:45.920 --> 00:46:50.880 Just add me on there, send me a DM and, like I said, 656 00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:53.840 I'll give you a free thirty minute consultation call. If, at the 657 00:46:53.920 --> 00:46:58.000 end you don't want to work for me, that's totally cool. You'll still 658 00:46:58.000 --> 00:47:00.719 walk away with an exact plan and some exact steps as to what you can 659 00:47:00.760 --> 00:47:04.840 do moving forward. Also, if you want to just get ahold of me 660 00:47:04.880 --> 00:47:07.239 and you just want to chat, I love just connecting with people and building 661 00:47:07.239 --> 00:47:14.760 a community. Obviously, I'm in this too for the for the coaching, 662 00:47:14.800 --> 00:47:17.559 but I'm here just to serve as many of you as I possibly can. 663 00:47:17.599 --> 00:47:21.159 So if you just want to shoot me a message and ask me just a 664 00:47:21.199 --> 00:47:23.880 general question or or say hey, this is what's been going on in my 665 00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:28.480 life. Do you have any suggestions, I'm more than happy to answer questions 666 00:47:28.559 --> 00:47:30.639 or to interact with all of you. I'm here to give you value and 667 00:47:30.679 --> 00:47:34.960 to share as much as I possibly can. This is not about me, 668 00:47:35.239 --> 00:47:38.639 this is about other people and making the world a better place. Awesome, 669 00:47:38.880 --> 00:47:44.400 Alex. thank you so much for taking the time to come on to share 670 00:47:44.440 --> 00:47:47.880 your story and to just in your wisdom that you found through through your journey. 671 00:47:47.880 --> 00:47:51.440 So I appreciate the fact that you came on to the show to they 672 00:47:51.599 --> 00:47:53.119 yes, thank you so much for having me. It was an honor and 673 00:47:53.159 --> 00:47:57.800 I I'm just so gripfull I could connect with you and your audience. Awesome. 674 00:47:58.360 --> 00:48:00.280 Well, Alex, I'm going to say a we're going to sign off, 675 00:48:00.280 --> 00:48:04.679 but I'll say thank you again and for everybody else, we will be 676 00:48:04.760 --> 00:48:10.719 having conversations again real soon. Thanks for tuning in. If you've found value 677 00:48:10.719 --> 00:48:15.440 in this episode, the best thing you can do is to subscribe, rate 678 00:48:15.559 --> 00:48:19.280 or review this podcast. If you would like to further investigate how you can 679 00:48:19.280 --> 00:48:23.360 fill up your mindset, feel free to contact me through my website at Wwwa 680 00:48:23.760 --> 00:48:37.320 Gagginscom. Can't wait to catch you on the next episode.