Cultivate a Warrior Mindset - Alex Bales

WEBVTT 1 00:00:03.600 --> 00:00:07.320 Hey, Dr g here. Thank you for listening to moving up stream without 2 00:00:07.320 --> 00:00:11.119 a paddle. I would like to work with businesses, authors, coaches and 3 00:00:11.160 --> 00:00:15.960 the like who understand the importance of shifting perspectives to obtain the results we're looking 4 00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:19.800 for. And please to announce that moving up stream without a paddle is now 5 00:00:19.839 --> 00:00:24.879 offering commercial spots to be air during the episodes. If you believe your organization 6 00:00:24.960 --> 00:00:29.079 would benefit from advertising on the PODCAST, I would love to have you be 7 00:00:29.160 --> 00:00:33.880 a part of this continuously growing show. Let's get connected and inspire the world 8 00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:42.759 together. WHAT'S UP, everybody? Back again and this time with a very 9 00:00:42.799 --> 00:00:49.719 special guests and Alex Bales. Alex as a personal trainer, turn transformational, 10 00:00:49.719 --> 00:00:55.359 try I can't say that, transformational life coach who focuses on teaching people how 11 00:00:55.399 --> 00:01:00.799 to overcome self sabotage and addictions in their life. His mission is to show 12 00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:06.719 adults howto seamlessly break from that negative from the negative cycles and too self fulfillment 13 00:01:06.840 --> 00:01:11.200 and reinvent their lives to create authentic happiness. Now, I had a pre 14 00:01:11.280 --> 00:01:15.799 interview with Alex and he has a pretty phenomenal story, so I'm really, 15 00:01:15.799 --> 00:01:21.000 really anxious to get into it and let you guys here, so we will 16 00:01:21.040 --> 00:01:27.079 be doing that right after this. Welcome to moving up stream without a paddle, 17 00:01:27.319 --> 00:01:32.079 the podcast that helps develop a mindset for success. I'm your host, 18 00:01:32.239 --> 00:01:36.519 Dr Garrett Coggins, but most people call me Dr g. Now I've dedicated 19 00:01:36.599 --> 00:01:41.280 my life to helping others understand that if you have the proper mindset, you 20 00:01:41.319 --> 00:01:47.439 can propel yourself up that proverbial stream with no pad on needing after constantly feeling 21 00:01:47.480 --> 00:01:51.680 like you're going against the flow, but you're never happy with your results, 22 00:01:51.760 --> 00:01:55.719 it's really time to flip your mindset. If that's something that you're ready to 23 00:01:55.760 --> 00:02:14.080 do, you've come to the right place. Now let's get to it. 24 00:02:14.199 --> 00:02:17.120 Hello, Alex, welcome to the show. Yeah, Hey, thank you 25 00:02:17.120 --> 00:02:21.240 for having me. I'm so excited to be here and I'm really grateful for 26 00:02:21.280 --> 00:02:25.599 the opportunity. I came across your podcast a while back. You're interviewing someone 27 00:02:25.639 --> 00:02:29.080 I knew, Amber Miller, and I listened to it and I thought it 28 00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:32.240 was amazing, so I reached out and yeah, you know again, I'm 29 00:02:32.280 --> 00:02:36.240 just so grateful to be here at such a great opportunity and I appreciate that 30 00:02:36.280 --> 00:02:38.680 you get that. You're given that to me I mean, after hearing your 31 00:02:38.719 --> 00:02:45.080 story, though, I had to is like because it's it's a piece that 32 00:02:45.159 --> 00:02:47.879 I mean we've had some similar types of stories on here, but they're just 33 00:02:47.919 --> 00:02:53.439 always so motivational and you know, in Amber's amber's episode is probably one one 34 00:02:53.479 --> 00:02:58.080 of my most listen to. So it's it's a I'm glad you glad you 35 00:02:58.080 --> 00:03:00.560 listen to and you liked it and I'm really happy that you came on the 36 00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:02.520 show. But I mean, let's get into your story, because it's really 37 00:03:02.520 --> 00:03:07.560 how I start everything off and it really drives the conversation and I feel like 38 00:03:07.840 --> 00:03:12.800 it's going to connect with people in ways that I don't even think we could 39 00:03:12.840 --> 00:03:15.080 imagine. So if you don't mind, just take the MIC and let's just 40 00:03:15.159 --> 00:03:17.680 go over the what you do, why you do it and how you got 41 00:03:17.719 --> 00:03:22.479 there. Sure, absolutely so. I've got kind of a long story, 42 00:03:22.520 --> 00:03:24.680 but I'll try and make it as clear and concise as possible and hit the 43 00:03:24.680 --> 00:03:29.439 main points as I go. So right now I am a full time personal 44 00:03:29.479 --> 00:03:34.759 trainer and I run that full time during the week and then I ought just 45 00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:39.080 recently run launched my life coaching business. So you can find me on instagram. 46 00:03:39.080 --> 00:03:44.199 THAT SOBER FIT ALEX or on facebook at Alex fails. The focus of 47 00:03:44.240 --> 00:03:50.240 my life coaching business is all about helping people seamlessly break free from addiction and 48 00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:53.879 emotional trauma in their life to help them create a life of health and enjoy 49 00:03:53.960 --> 00:03:58.680 that they've always dreamed of. So really, ultimately, that's all rooted in 50 00:03:58.879 --> 00:04:01.479 and my story and how my pain has become a passion in my purpose. 51 00:04:01.599 --> 00:04:06.800 So you know, as a young kid I was always a super shy, 52 00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:13.479 sensitive, intuitive and empathic kid. I actually used to get sat home and 53 00:04:13.520 --> 00:04:15.720 sent to the social worker because I would like cry before I would get on 54 00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:19.560 the bus and I would I would cry when I would go to school because 55 00:04:19.560 --> 00:04:24.199 I didn't really feel like I fit in with the other kids. It was 56 00:04:24.199 --> 00:04:29.519 super embarrassing and kind of became problematic because that was growing up. I didn't 57 00:04:29.519 --> 00:04:31.600 really aspect actually fit in with like a lot of the guys that were like 58 00:04:31.639 --> 00:04:36.279 playing with like toy cars and swords and things like that. That being said, 59 00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:40.639 at a very young age I actually took to sports. We found out 60 00:04:40.680 --> 00:04:45.319 that I was pretty athletic and I started like getting involved in that and I 61 00:04:45.319 --> 00:04:47.759 played travel sports growing up as a kid. So I spent my ntaw entire 62 00:04:47.959 --> 00:04:53.759 childhood traveling around on different travel teams during the summer, and then I played 63 00:04:53.800 --> 00:04:59.040 school sports as well. As I got into early high school, I was 64 00:04:59.079 --> 00:05:03.680 having a lot of success in sports. So I actually was on Varsity as 65 00:05:03.759 --> 00:05:08.199 a freshman for football. I didn't play, but I went to a really 66 00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:11.439 big high school that puts out a lot of really good, high level athletes, 67 00:05:12.199 --> 00:05:15.079 so for me to even be on Varsity as a freshman was a big 68 00:05:15.120 --> 00:05:19.439 deal. The being said, as time went on I always kind of struggled 69 00:05:19.480 --> 00:05:25.199 with my mental health and during this time I had an individual that I was 70 00:05:25.240 --> 00:05:29.600 involved with during my time in multiple sports, in both baseball and football, 71 00:05:29.600 --> 00:05:34.920 and my relationship with this individual was extremely traumatic and looking back, it's really 72 00:05:34.959 --> 00:05:41.000 been the catalist of all of my issues with mental health and my run with 73 00:05:41.040 --> 00:05:46.279 addiction. You know, some people handled it, some of the guys handled 74 00:05:46.319 --> 00:05:50.360 it just fine, but for me, being very sensitive, intuitive and empathic, 75 00:05:50.439 --> 00:05:57.160 it was extremely problematic for me. So this individual would like shame me 76 00:05:57.240 --> 00:06:02.040 and the rate me and say things that were very degrading and very hurtful to 77 00:06:02.120 --> 00:06:05.279 me, and it really took a toll on me over time to a point 78 00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:11.639 where I was like scared to make mistakes. I instead of like playing, 79 00:06:11.720 --> 00:06:15.639 I was I was like acting in a way that I just didn't want to 80 00:06:15.639 --> 00:06:18.040 mess up because I was like I felt like I was playing sports and quicksand 81 00:06:18.120 --> 00:06:24.040 like I couldn't move because I was so traumatized and in fear. So my 82 00:06:24.079 --> 00:06:29.639 performance drops so bad that I ended up actually getting, quite embarrassingly so benched 83 00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:33.680 as a junior in both baseball and football, and then I didn't even end 84 00:06:33.720 --> 00:06:40.079 up playing football as a senior and I played baseball as a senior, but 85 00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:44.240 it didn't go very well. You know, initially I always thought I was 86 00:06:44.279 --> 00:06:48.120 going to play Division One sports, but ended up actually just taking an academic 87 00:06:48.160 --> 00:06:54.000 scholarship to a division three school. I think they just pulled some academic money 88 00:06:54.040 --> 00:06:57.680 because at division three they don't give athletic money. So I was like, 89 00:06:57.720 --> 00:07:00.759 okay, you know, this is a no brainer, I'll just do that. 90 00:07:00.759 --> 00:07:03.360 That summer graduating high school as a senior was the first time that I 91 00:07:03.399 --> 00:07:09.040 started drinking. So, in reflection, I don't think I've ever drank and 92 00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:13.759 not gotten drunk or black out, and it wasn't like an everyday thing at 93 00:07:13.800 --> 00:07:17.160 that point, but it was the first time that I like started dabbling with 94 00:07:17.199 --> 00:07:23.959 that thing and going down that path and I ran myself and I ran myself 95 00:07:23.959 --> 00:07:27.199 into the ground. I wasn't really taking care of myself. And the ironic 96 00:07:27.240 --> 00:07:30.959 thing was that I was like a goody two shoe kid grow up like I 97 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:34.720 grew up in a very traditional, conservative Christian family. I was always against 98 00:07:34.720 --> 00:07:42.199 like drinking and substance use, and that's what all the guys were doing when 99 00:07:42.199 --> 00:07:44.600 I was in high school, like so I didn't really fit in and that 100 00:07:44.680 --> 00:07:46.600 regard either. As I went on, I pretty much lost all my friends. 101 00:07:46.639 --> 00:07:49.600 So I was alone and then when I started dabbling with this stuff, 102 00:07:49.639 --> 00:07:55.000 I finally found a crowd of people that accepted me, although they didn't really 103 00:07:55.000 --> 00:07:58.040 accept me. I just fit in with what they were doing. So I'm 104 00:07:58.120 --> 00:08:03.079 drinking and partying all summer for the first time and I go away to college 105 00:08:03.120 --> 00:08:07.560 and two weeks into being away at college I get what's called Epstein Bar Virus. 106 00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:13.720 So Epstein Bar Virus is basically an extreme version of Mano. I would 107 00:08:13.720 --> 00:08:18.839 take antibiotics and then it would go away. As soon as I cease the 108 00:08:18.879 --> 00:08:22.000 antibiotics, Epstein Bar would come back. My throat would swell shot, I 109 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:26.000 would be spiking. He's a hundred and two, a hundred three degree fevers. 110 00:08:26.079 --> 00:08:30.680 So it took them about six months to figure out that it was Epstein 111 00:08:30.720 --> 00:08:33.879 Bar virus. I ended up transferring home. I had to have surgery, 112 00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:39.879 I lost about fifty pounds and it turned into chronic fatigue for about a year 113 00:08:39.919 --> 00:08:43.679 and a half. At that point, I was back home, didn't have 114 00:08:43.759 --> 00:08:48.080 a whole lot going for me and I had some friends that I had played 115 00:08:48.120 --> 00:08:50.600 sports within high school that were now in the fitness scene and they were like, 116 00:08:50.639 --> 00:08:54.799 hey, why don't you dabble with steroids and on a bolocks? Maybe 117 00:08:54.840 --> 00:08:56.320 this could be something that you could take two and it would be a good 118 00:08:56.320 --> 00:09:01.360 way for you to get your health in your strength back at high speed. 119 00:09:01.360 --> 00:09:03.919 And I was like sure, why not? Like this seems like an okay 120 00:09:03.960 --> 00:09:07.080 idea. I didn't have anything else going for me at the time. So, 121 00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:11.360 like anyone with that is an addict or an alcoholic like myself, you 122 00:09:11.399 --> 00:09:15.360 know, a ten week cycle of it turned into a three year span with 123 00:09:15.519 --> 00:09:20.600 it and and I really believe that that that was really what opened the door 124 00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:22.919 to a lot of my demon so to speak. I don't think that necessarily 125 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:28.279 that the anabolics were bad, but when you start injecting yourself with things, 126 00:09:28.799 --> 00:09:33.480 I think you really start to open yourself up to a lot of possibilities because 127 00:09:33.679 --> 00:09:37.080 you've kind of crossed that line of fear. If you'll inject yourself with something, 128 00:09:37.080 --> 00:09:41.360 what won't you do? Like anyways, I'm moving forward, get into 129 00:09:41.360 --> 00:09:46.279 a really nasty relationship, verbally abusive, intaxic, both on my end and 130 00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:50.759 hers. Left my home. My family did not approve of the relationship, 131 00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:56.399 so I just ditched out and left and went and lived with her family and 132 00:09:56.480 --> 00:10:01.120 the relationship wouldn't completely sour to a point where, I'll be honest, I 133 00:10:01.159 --> 00:10:03.879 was a coward and I didn't know how to deal with my emotions at the 134 00:10:03.879 --> 00:10:09.320 time and instead of facing up to the problems and facing up to the relationship, 135 00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:11.080 I actually left, and just left in the middle of the night one 136 00:10:11.159 --> 00:10:18.399 night and I moved back home, and this is where things really started to 137 00:10:18.440 --> 00:10:24.519 get bad. So I'm super depressed, super apathetic and I basically started using 138 00:10:24.600 --> 00:10:28.320 activity to fill the void. So I was working out, I was training 139 00:10:28.399 --> 00:10:35.960 Jiu Jitsu, I was working a high level supervision position for a company and 140 00:10:35.039 --> 00:10:37.960 I was going to school full time and doing quite well at that, along 141 00:10:39.000 --> 00:10:43.960 with partying and drinking two bottles of wine a day or or popping, you 142 00:10:43.960 --> 00:10:46.879 know, six to ten pills a day just to get through the day. 143 00:10:46.639 --> 00:10:50.000 And I ran myself into the ground and I got to a point where I 144 00:10:50.039 --> 00:10:54.720 woke up one day and I felt like detached from my body. I couldn't 145 00:10:54.759 --> 00:10:58.480 even function. I was in a fog, I couldn't think straight. So 146 00:10:58.519 --> 00:11:03.120 at this point, I basically let go of everything besides the job that's paying 147 00:11:03.159 --> 00:11:07.039 the bills and the substances that are numbing me to the world around me, 148 00:11:07.440 --> 00:11:11.840 and I was going to work. I would work all night long, I 149 00:11:11.840 --> 00:11:16.519 would come home, I would drink two to three bottles of wine straight out 150 00:11:16.519 --> 00:11:20.279 of the bottle, I would drink an entire container of night well, then 151 00:11:20.360 --> 00:11:24.879 I would sleep all day long. I would wake up and I would either 152 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:28.120 use coke or Amphetamans to wake me up and to get me through the night. 153 00:11:28.120 --> 00:11:33.200 So I'm running the cycle for about two to three months straight and I 154 00:11:33.240 --> 00:11:35.600 never took the time to deal with the issues that were going on inside of 155 00:11:35.600 --> 00:11:39.679 me. I had built this big body, I had built this lifestyle in 156 00:11:39.720 --> 00:11:45.360 this appearance, but internally I was broken and so I got to a point 157 00:11:45.360 --> 00:11:48.360 where I couldn't take it anymore, and so I was suicidally depressed and I 158 00:11:48.399 --> 00:11:52.000 was planning the way, my way out. I was going to kill myself 159 00:11:52.080 --> 00:11:56.639 and in my darkest moment, I had a spiritual awakening and I was going 160 00:11:56.679 --> 00:12:01.399 to do it, and God said to me, like no, this is 161 00:12:01.440 --> 00:12:05.840 okay, like this is going to be the best thing that ever happened to 162 00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:09.159 you. Now, now you know what you what you don't want to be 163 00:12:09.200 --> 00:12:11.960 and who you're not. So now you can go out and create who you 164 00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:16.519 do want to be. And I always thought like to die, to physically 165 00:12:16.559 --> 00:12:20.000 die and put myself in the ground, would be such a release. But 166 00:12:20.120 --> 00:12:24.960 I realize that all I really needed to do was to die to the old 167 00:12:24.080 --> 00:12:28.519 version of myself and all the old ideas of myself that were no longer serving 168 00:12:28.559 --> 00:12:33.000 me. Like I realize we can die to that person that we were fifteen 169 00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:35.960 minutes ago and create ourselves new again at any given moment. And now that's 170 00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:39.759 what I want to do. I'm here to I'm here to share my message 171 00:12:39.759 --> 00:12:43.240 with people that there's another way, like you can do this, and we 172 00:12:43.679 --> 00:12:46.720 all have pain and we all have trauma, but you can really transform that 173 00:12:46.919 --> 00:12:52.120 and it's really necessary for your growth and when you just embrace it and and 174 00:12:52.159 --> 00:12:54.519 allow it to become your path, your passion and your purpose, I think 175 00:12:54.559 --> 00:13:01.440 that that's where the powers out. Yeah, so, man, that story 176 00:13:01.440 --> 00:13:05.440 like there's there's a lot there. There's so much going on, and that 177 00:13:07.320 --> 00:13:09.320 you know. And then everybody goes down that path, but I think everybody 178 00:13:09.360 --> 00:13:11.440 has these little triggers it. But you were a path, you know, 179 00:13:11.480 --> 00:13:18.679 you you just spiraled and spiled and spiraled and, and I love I mean 180 00:13:20.240 --> 00:13:24.559 just the death. And I think that, and I'm pretty sure that's what 181 00:13:24.679 --> 00:13:28.159 you said and when I first taught to you too, is because it resonated 182 00:13:28.240 --> 00:13:31.120 so much that there's this this time that and whether you, whether you were 183 00:13:31.159 --> 00:13:35.759 have addictions or you just are hit at a rock bottom state, there's there's 184 00:13:35.799 --> 00:13:39.679 a death, that happens and then there's the rebirth, right, and that, 185 00:13:41.039 --> 00:13:43.080 I think, that's what just so inspires me about your story, is 186 00:13:43.120 --> 00:13:48.080 that here you are, you go, well, now there's let this person. 187 00:13:48.200 --> 00:13:50.879 I do U sure to choose the person that you wanted to be, 188 00:13:52.039 --> 00:13:54.720 or actually, the way you said it, which I think is even more 189 00:13:54.720 --> 00:14:00.159 profound, is the person who you truly are, so that the other person 190 00:14:00.320 --> 00:14:03.960 wasn't you. It was just you were masking all these things with the drugs 191 00:14:05.039 --> 00:14:09.759 and all that, and so, but you went through this whole story and 192 00:14:09.799 --> 00:14:11.440 then you're like, and then I had this rebirth, but and yeah, 193 00:14:11.559 --> 00:14:16.240 it's all done. But I don't I don't feel like your journey just ends 194 00:14:16.279 --> 00:14:18.519 there. And I think this is really could. We had your mindset before, 195 00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:22.200 but now let's look at your mindset now, from from that point when 196 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:26.919 the rebirth or death and rebirth happen. What what did that look like like? 197 00:14:28.080 --> 00:14:31.200 Was it a struggle? That you have relapses, I mean, but 198 00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:33.720 what was that journey like? Yeah, absolutely, and I you know, 199 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:37.720 there's even more to my story to like you know, I've been arrested all 200 00:14:37.799 --> 00:14:39.759 kinds of stuff. But, like I said, I tried to hit the 201 00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:43.080 main points and as far as my journey goes like so, I just talked 202 00:14:43.120 --> 00:14:48.559 about death. The first thing I had to do was I had to surrender 203 00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:54.039 to my current state. So I used to get down and I'm a believer 204 00:14:54.200 --> 00:14:56.759 in God and I believe in a higher power, just personally, and I 205 00:14:56.759 --> 00:14:58.799 have no dogma as to what other people believe. But this is just me. 206 00:15:00.200 --> 00:15:01.559 So I used to get down on my hands and knees and I used 207 00:15:01.559 --> 00:15:07.080 to say, God, I am desperate. Whatever you got for me, 208 00:15:07.279 --> 00:15:09.240 I'm willing to do it. Just take this pain away from me, take 209 00:15:09.279 --> 00:15:16.000 this addiction away from me, take the suffering away from me and just surrendering 210 00:15:16.159 --> 00:15:22.000 and dying to that. It's like we but din to that there was with 211 00:15:22.080 --> 00:15:26.000 death comes life, like the life came back into me because, for the 212 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:28.879 first time, I was honest and authentic about where I'd been, like, 213 00:15:30.039 --> 00:15:33.399 how I felt about things, what had happened to me, who I had 214 00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:37.440 done wrong to and what that was able to do, that I was actually 215 00:15:37.480 --> 00:15:41.960 able to receive. So, for the first time in my life, I 216 00:15:41.000 --> 00:15:46.080 actually asked out for help and, ironically, somebody that I was very close 217 00:15:46.120 --> 00:15:50.120 to had told me that they were an alcoholic and they would talk to me 218 00:15:50.120 --> 00:15:52.639 about meetings and how it had changed their life. So I reach out to 219 00:15:52.720 --> 00:15:56.279 this person and I'm like, Hey, this is what's going on with me. 220 00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:03.080 I feel out of control and I just I really could use some help. 221 00:16:03.120 --> 00:16:07.960 I had no expectations and this individual was like, Hey, this is 222 00:16:07.000 --> 00:16:11.720 going to be this is awesome, like super, super cool, glad you 223 00:16:11.799 --> 00:16:15.200 called like let's go and I was like, oh, that really wasn't what 224 00:16:15.279 --> 00:16:21.039 I was expecting. So I went to my first meeting and it was super, 225 00:16:21.080 --> 00:16:25.080 super eye opening. I remember I went to my first meeting and the 226 00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:27.480 bar that I would go to was right down the road and I remember thinking 227 00:16:27.519 --> 00:16:30.960 I'm going to go to this meeting and I'm going to walk straight down to 228 00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:33.840 the bar afterward when I'm done, but I didn't end up happening. I 229 00:16:33.879 --> 00:16:37.720 went and for the first time in a long time, I found it. 230 00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:40.440 I found a community in a group of people that I fit in with, 231 00:16:40.799 --> 00:16:45.519 people that had more radical and extreme stories than me, and they were just 232 00:16:45.600 --> 00:16:52.000 so welcoming and just even putting myself out there was was extremely empowering at that 233 00:16:52.039 --> 00:16:57.399 point. So at that point I started to work on myself and I developed 234 00:16:57.480 --> 00:17:02.720 my my tenets of health slowly over time, but I think it's worth a 235 00:17:02.720 --> 00:17:06.680 mention that I made it eight months two times in a row and then relapsed 236 00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:14.079 and fell off. So the first time I relapsed, in reflection, I 237 00:17:14.119 --> 00:17:18.000 was really still in a state where I was scared of judgment and scared of 238 00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:21.680 sharing my story. So I would go out with people and they would talk 239 00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:26.480 about people in their lives who had substance abuse problems or drinking problems or were 240 00:17:26.480 --> 00:17:30.279 addicts or alcoholics, and they would judge them and I was scared to be 241 00:17:30.279 --> 00:17:33.200 honest and authentic about who I was still at that point. So I relapsed 242 00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:37.440 and I went off the wagon, but I came back and I tried it 243 00:17:37.480 --> 00:17:45.480 again, and the second time I was I realized that that didn't that didn't 244 00:17:45.519 --> 00:17:48.799 matter anymore and I came back to it and I gave it another try. 245 00:17:48.839 --> 00:17:56.599 And the second time I relapsed and I thought I would just get sober. 246 00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:59.519 I thought eventually I would get to a point where I would just be able 247 00:17:59.559 --> 00:18:03.519 to drink normally. I still wasn't truly honest and authentic about who I was. 248 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:07.279 And the second time I relapsed, I realize that I can't drink normally 249 00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:11.079 or I can't use like everybody else. I don't have the power in the 250 00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:17.440 ability to just drink normally or to use normally. And so I needed both 251 00:18:17.480 --> 00:18:21.920 of those because they broke down my ego. They helped me to continue to 252 00:18:22.359 --> 00:18:26.799 really let go of these things and to continue to surrender to who I wanted 253 00:18:26.920 --> 00:18:30.119 to be. And then this third time I've really really nailed it down, 254 00:18:30.160 --> 00:18:34.160 and the big key and the big component for me was working on myself, 255 00:18:34.200 --> 00:18:40.119 and I've developed my like my five tenants of health over time. So my 256 00:18:40.119 --> 00:18:45.720 five tenants are, do you get enough exercise and movement? What's your diet 257 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:51.680 like? Do you have relationships that cultivate you? Do you have a spiritual 258 00:18:51.759 --> 00:18:56.200 practice, and do you get enough rest or sleep that allows you to feel 259 00:18:56.279 --> 00:18:59.519 good moving forward in your life? And so I started working on each of 260 00:18:59.559 --> 00:19:03.960 these five tenants over time, and one thing I had to do with that 261 00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:07.079 too, is I had to let go of all the emotions of the past. 262 00:19:07.160 --> 00:19:11.559 I had to break free from those chains. So we live in like 263 00:19:11.599 --> 00:19:17.039 a society where everybody's very caught up in their emotions at this point. Everybody's 264 00:19:17.160 --> 00:19:22.400 feeling things, and that's okay. Emotions are the language of the body. 265 00:19:22.440 --> 00:19:23.920 But that being said, you've got to go out there and you got to 266 00:19:23.960 --> 00:19:29.480 start taking conscious action that aligns with the person that you want to be, 267 00:19:30.359 --> 00:19:33.039 and that's what I think I did. I went out there and I took 268 00:19:33.119 --> 00:19:37.680 action and with that my mindset started to shift. Yeah, well, I 269 00:19:37.720 --> 00:19:42.920 think that's that's I call it. If the power of practice right, it 270 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:48.880 practices, not practice, practice. It's the alignment of your belief system and 271 00:19:48.920 --> 00:19:52.519 your in your attitude and everything with your action. So you can have these 272 00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:56.480 these conscious beliefs, these conscious thoughts and all that, but until your actions 273 00:19:56.480 --> 00:19:59.920 are in alignment with that, there's not really much just going to happen. 274 00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:03.119 Right, and a lot of people have this idea that when we think, 275 00:20:03.240 --> 00:20:06.640 the positive thinking of it's all great, and yes, it's a very important 276 00:20:06.680 --> 00:20:11.680 aspect and in moving forward in life, but you can think positively on the 277 00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:15.279 couch all day long and nothing's going to nothing's going to happen is when your 278 00:20:15.319 --> 00:20:18.759 actions are in line with those thought that's going on. That's when things really 279 00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:22.960 start. Your mindset shifts and and you begin to notice, you know, 280 00:20:23.200 --> 00:20:27.640 the things start to line up the way that you needed to to find successes. 281 00:20:29.079 --> 00:20:33.880 But I like going back a little bit when you were talking about when 282 00:20:33.880 --> 00:20:37.160 you surrender to who you were, and I think you know, with Aa 283 00:20:37.160 --> 00:20:41.319 and a lot about those other people, pieces of when they did with addictions, 284 00:20:41.359 --> 00:20:44.920 there's this piece at first you have to admit that there's a problem, 285 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:48.400 right and and even though you know it is, there's something about it. 286 00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:52.039 When you can come out and say look, this is my issue, this 287 00:20:52.119 --> 00:20:56.160 is where I'm at in life, and I remember with with my alcoholism aspect, 288 00:20:56.160 --> 00:20:57.359 I did a lot of that in secret. And it sounds like you 289 00:20:57.400 --> 00:21:00.039 did a lot of it in secret and and all of a sudden when you 290 00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:03.279 just when you shed the light on that, when you say look, this 291 00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:07.200 is what I've been doing, and then you're like it's almost free right. 292 00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:11.880 It's almost like that alone takes a lot of that burden off of you and 293 00:21:11.880 --> 00:21:18.319 it really kind of helps to shift a little bit. But this the site 294 00:21:18.359 --> 00:21:22.759 that we just we don't admit that to ourselves. We just keep going and 295 00:21:22.799 --> 00:21:26.039 we accept this idea that, well, this is just who I am. 296 00:21:26.039 --> 00:21:27.920 Well, that's not who you are. And when, and I love how 297 00:21:27.960 --> 00:21:32.640 you said, then you surrender to the person that you you want it to 298 00:21:32.640 --> 00:21:36.279 be, or who you truly were. And then, and that's the inner 299 00:21:36.279 --> 00:21:37.759 part, and you said that too, like you started to work on the 300 00:21:37.799 --> 00:21:41.680 internal piece and that's when the external starts to go. But when you surrender 301 00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:45.079 to who you truly are, that's when you can start shutting off these limiting 302 00:21:45.160 --> 00:21:51.960 beliefs and because that's that's imposter syndrome, right. Is the things that we're 303 00:21:52.000 --> 00:21:55.559 doing there that are not generating the successes that we have in life. Those 304 00:21:55.559 --> 00:22:00.039 are limiting beliefs. That's imposter syndrome and you can remove that clothing surrender to 305 00:22:00.079 --> 00:22:03.559 that higher person that you're supposed to be, you're meant to be, and 306 00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:06.799 then everything begins to get in line. And so you really just kind of 307 00:22:06.839 --> 00:22:11.640 just broke down the whole high level process of getting that mindset right and really 308 00:22:11.720 --> 00:22:17.000 jumping into it. It's surrendering to the person you're supposed to be and begin 309 00:22:17.119 --> 00:22:21.480 doing the action that are in line with that person, and it's so important 310 00:22:21.559 --> 00:22:26.839 to do that. Yeah, absolutely, I think, like anybody who's going 311 00:22:26.880 --> 00:22:30.839 through something like that, like it the effortless and easy if you allow it 312 00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:34.480 to be. So. I was tell people the biggest thing with addiction or 313 00:22:34.519 --> 00:22:40.400 anyone with a substance abuse problem. Everyone thinks that the the first step is 314 00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:44.839 admitting that you have a problem, and I actually would contradict that and I 315 00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:48.519 would say that the first step is giving yourself permission to be authentic and honest 316 00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:52.400 with yourself about who you are before you even say it out loud. Giving 317 00:22:52.400 --> 00:23:00.680 yourself permission is really all about just allowing yourself to receive what life has for 318 00:23:00.759 --> 00:23:03.079 you, and I think that that's where the powers that we spend so much 319 00:23:03.079 --> 00:23:10.319 time trying to make things happen or are trying to force things, but really, 320 00:23:10.400 --> 00:23:14.160 ultimately, I think the way that we create a new reality for ourselves, 321 00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:17.599 and I think everybody can do this, as we just we have to 322 00:23:17.599 --> 00:23:21.920 get first clear and set an intention on where we want to go, and 323 00:23:21.960 --> 00:23:26.720 then we we allow it by taking the actions to move forward towards the direction 324 00:23:26.759 --> 00:23:30.119 of our dreams, but not being so obsessed with how it comes I've had 325 00:23:30.160 --> 00:23:34.240 a lot of times where I've moved forward in my journey and overcoming addiction and 326 00:23:34.279 --> 00:23:38.640 trauma. We're doors have gotten closed on me and I've gotten super, super 327 00:23:38.640 --> 00:23:42.359 frustrated and felt like I was never going to get where I wanted to be. 328 00:23:42.640 --> 00:23:45.720 But you never know what's going to come into your life. Like you 329 00:23:45.799 --> 00:23:49.039 might go and take a job that you initially didn't want to take. That 330 00:23:49.240 --> 00:23:52.960 doesn't seem like it makes sense, but you don't know who you're going to 331 00:23:52.960 --> 00:23:55.480 go and meet at that job, who's going to connect you to the right 332 00:23:55.519 --> 00:23:59.920 person at the right place at the right time. You might not want to 333 00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:03.519 go to a meeting you might not want to hire a coach and and reach 334 00:24:03.559 --> 00:24:06.680 out for help, but you never know what's going to happen. You never 335 00:24:06.759 --> 00:24:11.839 know what insight, one small change of mind, can completely change the way 336 00:24:11.880 --> 00:24:22.000 that you see the world. Do you have the next big thing that world 337 00:24:22.119 --> 00:24:26.359 changing? Which mccaull it? Do you have a story to tell? You 338 00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:30.519 need a website. You need the web spinners at Webin it with big picture 339 00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:36.319 solutions. Leaving together Seo, stellar web design and Social Media Integrations, you'll 340 00:24:36.359 --> 00:24:41.440 find yourself developing your latest and greatest thing idea or telling that next chapter in 341 00:24:41.480 --> 00:24:45.559 your story. Why? Because your audience is ready for it. With them 342 00:24:45.640 --> 00:25:00.359 up today at webinittcom. And remember, you're not everywhere unless your Webin it. 343 00:25:00.559 --> 00:25:03.799 You're finding value in this podcast. You should really check out where it 344 00:25:03.799 --> 00:25:07.359 all began. See, I wrote the book moving up stream without a paddle 345 00:25:07.480 --> 00:25:11.640 as a guy to develop the foundation for successful mindset. Learn what I believe 346 00:25:11.759 --> 00:25:17.160 to be four of the most fundamental principles to finance success in any endeavor, 347 00:25:17.319 --> 00:25:21.559 and if you apply these principles in your own life, you will indeed find 348 00:25:22.000 --> 00:25:26.359 that you can move up stream with no paddle needed. Get it on Amazon 349 00:25:26.400 --> 00:25:34.240 today. Well, and that's that's it's some well, first, let me 350 00:25:34.319 --> 00:25:37.640 go back. I love your first step, because that's very true. You 351 00:25:37.640 --> 00:25:41.440 have to give yourself permission to do that. Yeah, because that's that's really 352 00:25:41.440 --> 00:25:45.279 the release, that's the hope, that's the step that allows you to move 353 00:25:45.319 --> 00:25:48.079 forward, and and and and that aspect. And then I love we don't 354 00:25:48.119 --> 00:25:52.920 care about the how right. We just go for what it is we want, 355 00:25:52.920 --> 00:25:56.200 set the goal go and and then, just people aren't in tune enough 356 00:25:56.240 --> 00:26:00.319 with they're in with those inspirations. That happen as you're going through this journey 357 00:26:00.359 --> 00:26:04.160 and a door closes and we and there's all these inspirational quotes out there, 358 00:26:04.200 --> 00:26:08.440 that you know when that door closes, it's not closing you to an opportunity 359 00:26:08.519 --> 00:26:11.880 is closed and you just something that wasn't meant for you to begin with. 360 00:26:12.200 --> 00:26:17.119 And so let's let's do the pivots, and that's why pivoty is so important. 361 00:26:17.160 --> 00:26:22.720 And but then, but some people have those inspirations for these jobs that 362 00:26:22.720 --> 00:26:26.079 they don't want to have to do. But that's the opportunity, that's the 363 00:26:26.119 --> 00:26:30.200 stepping stones, those are the pieces that are really going to get you to 364 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:33.759 the end result, because it like you were saying it. Those are the 365 00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:41.039 the the the people and and the resources and all the stuff that are coming 366 00:26:41.079 --> 00:26:45.079 into your life that is just going to put the whole, the whole puzzle 367 00:26:45.119 --> 00:26:48.599 together. And so it's very important piece and you can know what right because 368 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:53.200 we have that internal voice that happens. Sometimes it screams, sometimes it just 369 00:26:53.200 --> 00:26:56.680 speaks softly, but you really have to be in tune with what that is 370 00:26:56.880 --> 00:27:02.960 to really navigate through all these aspects that you're talking about. Yeah, absolutely, 371 00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:06.279 and I think that that's how we know, like we know the move. 372 00:27:06.359 --> 00:27:08.480 So I believe that our higher spot, higher power, speaks to US 373 00:27:08.480 --> 00:27:14.079 through synchronicity. So if something excites you and it continues to show up in 374 00:27:14.119 --> 00:27:18.240 your life, that's probably the path and that's okay. Like, like I 375 00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:22.920 said, it might not make sense to you exactly in that moment what's going 376 00:27:22.920 --> 00:27:26.480 to happen or how it's going to play out, but I promised that I 377 00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:30.319 believe that the universe or God, whatever you believe, has a plan for 378 00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:33.480 you and that there's a path for you. I'd also like to say that, 379 00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:37.480 like at the root of every addiction, ultimately is actually it's giving yourself 380 00:27:37.480 --> 00:27:42.319 permission for self love, when I was drinking or when I was using, 381 00:27:42.359 --> 00:27:48.519 and I remember like I would take sixteen or seventeen pills at a time sometimes. 382 00:27:48.519 --> 00:27:51.960 I mean it was insane. Ultimately, and reflection, what I was 383 00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:57.680 doing was I was actually giving myself permission to love myself, because we're spiking 384 00:27:57.680 --> 00:28:02.240 our state when we do that and it would make me feel better. I 385 00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:04.720 just couldn't get there on my own at the time. So I think that's 386 00:28:04.759 --> 00:28:10.000 really powerful to acknowledge that, that when you have those addictions and those things 387 00:28:10.039 --> 00:28:15.759 that you have to come those emotional traumas, like, you have the acknowledge 388 00:28:15.799 --> 00:28:19.160 that you have the desire to love yourself. That's what it is. You 389 00:28:19.200 --> 00:28:22.759 just need to figure out how to do it on your own. Yeah, 390 00:28:22.839 --> 00:28:26.839 without the kid. Well, that's true. It is a very valid point, 391 00:28:26.920 --> 00:28:30.279 because what is what are those doing? That? They're the they're breaking 392 00:28:30.319 --> 00:28:34.200 down this chemically breaking down the barrier, right, breaking down the walls that 393 00:28:34.200 --> 00:28:37.359 we put up because we don't want to face things or we don't want to 394 00:28:37.359 --> 00:28:45.119 deal with things, and loving yourself in that aspect. It's we're taught that 395 00:28:45.000 --> 00:28:48.079 that looks like it's a selfish it's a selfish act. Right, then we 396 00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:51.359 don't want to be selfish. We don't want to look at that in ways. 397 00:28:51.720 --> 00:28:55.519 One there's that Steg when that there too. It's I don't know and 398 00:28:55.680 --> 00:29:00.720 I can't really there's so many aspects that really do that were it just seems 399 00:29:00.720 --> 00:29:07.480 like it's a FOPA thing to to care about who you are and but it's 400 00:29:07.480 --> 00:29:11.680 an important piece and and we can't give we can't. A lot of us 401 00:29:11.880 --> 00:29:15.920 are dealing with this philanthropy aspect right. We want to give, we want 402 00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:18.759 to do so much for the world, we want to do so much for 403 00:29:18.759 --> 00:29:22.279 our family, for our kids, for our friends, but we can't give 404 00:29:22.279 --> 00:29:26.160 what we don't have. And so that's why it's so important to love yourself. 405 00:29:26.400 --> 00:29:29.039 You can't give love unless you have love for yourself. This just, 406 00:29:29.079 --> 00:29:33.480 it's just. It seems weird, but it's there's truth to that. is 407 00:29:33.559 --> 00:29:37.359 virtually impossible to give what you want to give without taking care of yourself. 408 00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:41.480 That's why I say with selfless there's always a big piece of selfish. You 409 00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:45.279 have to there has to be there. Yeah, yeah, there's like an 410 00:29:45.279 --> 00:29:48.599 I we and an we and an all. Component the way I see it, 411 00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:52.920 and I think that someone I look up to, Paul Chack has something 412 00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:56.880 similar, but this is something that I've kind of thought of on my own. 413 00:29:56.920 --> 00:30:00.240 So like it has to start with I like I have to be the 414 00:30:00.279 --> 00:30:04.160 one to heal myself first. Then there's the Wei, which is people are 415 00:30:04.200 --> 00:30:08.720 in your immediate circle around you. If you're healed, you can help other 416 00:30:08.839 --> 00:30:15.039 people heal around you. Once you start to heal everybody else around you as 417 00:30:15.039 --> 00:30:18.599 a community, people start to come together and expand the healing and then all 418 00:30:18.680 --> 00:30:23.000 of us can come together, heel together and create something beautiful and powerful. 419 00:30:23.799 --> 00:30:27.759 Yeah, know, that's that's again very a lot of great points. Is 420 00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:30.839 a lot of truth of that. Didn't and think about what's going on there 421 00:30:30.880 --> 00:30:33.960 too. So when you when you are focused on the eye, when you're 422 00:30:34.000 --> 00:30:38.440 where, you're healing the internal when you're making all this happen, and we 423 00:30:38.480 --> 00:30:42.279 can start going to the vibrational state right so when we're not in tune with 424 00:30:42.279 --> 00:30:45.480 ourselves, we're not healing ourselves, we're not doing the self love, we're 425 00:30:45.480 --> 00:30:49.799 in a negative vibration. We start to feel that and really put that in 426 00:30:49.839 --> 00:30:53.599 they were raising that vibration. We're getting the right people around us because they 427 00:30:53.680 --> 00:30:59.240 were attracting the proper people who are going to uplift us, and then that 428 00:30:59.319 --> 00:31:03.759 whole that then you have this whole community where as one person rise, the 429 00:31:03.799 --> 00:31:07.440 other one is rising too, and that's when people start off on entrepreneurship right 430 00:31:07.440 --> 00:31:11.400 and they start going to these networking events and all this and they go, 431 00:31:11.680 --> 00:31:15.559 wow, I'm just getting myself around all these people. That's because they're lifting 432 00:31:15.599 --> 00:31:19.720 you to their level now, and that's networking in so it is so important. 433 00:31:19.720 --> 00:31:23.119 But you're going to only once you leave that networking event, you'll just 434 00:31:23.160 --> 00:31:27.240 go right back down. So it's important to start here, lift that and 435 00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:30.240 then it flows, just like you said that then the we happens, then 436 00:31:30.279 --> 00:31:37.000 the whole community happens, and it's just a truthful statement. Yeah, absolutely, 437 00:31:37.039 --> 00:31:40.599 and I think the important thing to to realize is your healing is not 438 00:31:40.599 --> 00:31:44.759 going to happen in a day. Yeah, so, like, going back 439 00:31:44.759 --> 00:31:48.640 to what I said, I talk a lot about whether it be with clients 440 00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:52.599 or on podcasts that have been I talked a lot about giving yourself permission. 441 00:31:52.680 --> 00:31:56.920 Giving your self permission means to allow. So start small and just do the 442 00:31:56.920 --> 00:32:01.200 best you can with the situation at hand and then allow yourself to evolve over 443 00:32:01.319 --> 00:32:06.400 time. Allow, like I said, doors will be shut, but then 444 00:32:06.440 --> 00:32:09.480 just keep opening the next open door, keep doing the next right thing and 445 00:32:09.559 --> 00:32:16.640 over time you'll evolve. Everybody wants the sexy answer. They want it right 446 00:32:16.720 --> 00:32:22.240 now and that's just not how behavior change and healing works. You gotta you've 447 00:32:22.240 --> 00:32:25.599 got to work at it over time. When I coach, when I coach 448 00:32:25.720 --> 00:32:30.039 somebody, I will say, let's focus on one thing at a time, 449 00:32:30.640 --> 00:32:31.799 you know. So, like I said, I've got like five tenants. 450 00:32:31.839 --> 00:32:37.000 If somebody wants to build a spiritual practice, so things that I use in 451 00:32:37.000 --> 00:32:42.599 a spiritual practice might be meditation, prayer, journaling, anything of that nature. 452 00:32:42.640 --> 00:32:45.119 I say okay, like what would resonate with you if they say meditation, 453 00:32:45.119 --> 00:32:49.119 okay, we're going to meditate for three minutes a day and we're going 454 00:32:49.160 --> 00:32:52.319 to focus on getting present. We do that for four weeks and then we 455 00:32:52.359 --> 00:32:57.079 move to the next thing and we add something to that. It's not sexy, 456 00:32:57.160 --> 00:33:00.720 it's not what everybody wants to hear. But if you focus on changing 457 00:33:00.759 --> 00:33:05.480 one thing at a time, slowly over time, twelve, sixteen, Eighteen, 458 00:33:05.559 --> 00:33:07.559 twenty, four months, two years from now, you're a completely different 459 00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:10.240 person, and that's how change happens. I think a lot of times we 460 00:33:10.279 --> 00:33:14.319 look back on our life and we're like, holy cow, how did I 461 00:33:14.319 --> 00:33:20.599 get here? And ultimiliar it just comes down to did you? Did you 462 00:33:20.640 --> 00:33:24.200 allow yourself to evolve over time? We get still so stuck in behavior patterns 463 00:33:24.200 --> 00:33:30.000 and ideas of the past that we forget that there's there's a huge world out 464 00:33:30.039 --> 00:33:31.839 there for us and there's so much opportunity if we a loted, to come 465 00:33:31.880 --> 00:33:37.680 into our lives. Yeah, well, and there's there's another aspect to that 466 00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:40.920 I think is important to bring up with this is when you are focusing on 467 00:33:40.960 --> 00:33:45.720 those one little things and you are starting to make little changes, the small 468 00:33:45.799 --> 00:33:50.279 changes in your life will again those stepping stones to get you. I was 469 00:33:50.319 --> 00:33:54.519 actually talking with someone that we were working on her little little pieces, right. 470 00:33:54.559 --> 00:34:00.400 So we generated this whole life spirit of like define who, who? 471 00:34:00.440 --> 00:34:04.079 The person is that that you know you want to be or that you believe 472 00:34:04.119 --> 00:34:07.440 is your true self. Let's defind that was really break it down. Doesn't 473 00:34:07.440 --> 00:34:10.599 get very specific about what you want in your life in totality, and then 474 00:34:10.639 --> 00:34:14.800 we'll say, like your seven tenets, right, and so that's kind of 475 00:34:14.800 --> 00:34:17.079 what I'm talking about. Now let's take one of those little piece of that 476 00:34:17.119 --> 00:34:22.679 and let's start working a little aspects of that. And what's interesting that I 477 00:34:22.719 --> 00:34:27.719 think most people will find is that when you work on that little thing and 478 00:34:27.719 --> 00:34:30.920 you're moving up, you'll start to see other little piece is of other aspects 479 00:34:30.960 --> 00:34:35.679 start to line up. Now it's not going to be full, but your 480 00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:39.400 life begins to come in alignment as you work on all these little pieces. 481 00:34:39.440 --> 00:34:44.199 But when you try to do everything, it's like people will tell you this, 482 00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:46.800 and it's true, multitasking is a farce. You can't do it if 483 00:34:46.840 --> 00:34:52.039 you can only have one thought at a time. So once you can generate 484 00:34:52.079 --> 00:34:55.599 that one piece, do that, but then the the universe, God, 485 00:34:55.639 --> 00:35:00.039 everybody's hes going tolign other things up. So when you get to a certain 486 00:35:00.039 --> 00:35:01.920 point, then you're like, oh, I don't have so much work to 487 00:35:01.960 --> 00:35:06.840 do on this aspect because a lot of it's already aligned with this. So 488 00:35:07.039 --> 00:35:09.519 but it is very important that you do those little little steps. And the 489 00:35:09.519 --> 00:35:15.719 other major aspect with that is those are small successes when you could focus on 490 00:35:15.719 --> 00:35:20.719 one little thing, then you're you're stacking those successes and you start to feel 491 00:35:20.760 --> 00:35:23.880 better about yourself and every the confidence comes in. So it's so important that 492 00:35:23.960 --> 00:35:28.239 to really, like you said, do those one little aspects at a time. 493 00:35:29.119 --> 00:35:30.920 Yeah, and everybody is scared of what they doubt know. We're all 494 00:35:30.920 --> 00:35:36.519 scared of the unknown, of going into the dark cave or nobody knows what's 495 00:35:36.519 --> 00:35:39.000 going to happen. Are you know, our ego always wants to hold onto 496 00:35:39.000 --> 00:35:45.559 something tangible that it can control or that you know, the illusion of control. 497 00:35:45.719 --> 00:35:51.000 And so I think stepping into that place of like where we don't know 498 00:35:51.079 --> 00:35:53.760 what's going to happen, that's okay. That's where we can that's where we 499 00:35:53.800 --> 00:35:58.280 have the chance to create something that we want, that's meaningful to us, 500 00:35:59.280 --> 00:36:06.079 and I think just allowing that to happen is is where it's at. Yeah, 501 00:36:06.159 --> 00:36:12.920 yeah, so let's let's that's really good conversation. I'm loving this talk. 502 00:36:13.320 --> 00:36:17.239 But let's go back to really to your to your life, because you 503 00:36:17.280 --> 00:36:22.960 got out of that and I feel like there's you went through and you had 504 00:36:22.000 --> 00:36:25.800 the the the relapses, and you said the three, but you had this 505 00:36:27.079 --> 00:36:30.000 as you were doing that, I feel and I want to talk about the 506 00:36:30.039 --> 00:36:32.519 relapses a little bit because it kind of goes back into this we want something 507 00:36:32.639 --> 00:36:39.119 sexy, right, and again, with these transitions and moving through life doing, 508 00:36:39.239 --> 00:36:43.679 you know, developing new habits and overcoming these things. It's not sexy, 509 00:36:43.719 --> 00:36:49.519 though. There will be relapses, and so where were you when one 510 00:36:49.559 --> 00:36:52.960 relapse happened? A lot of people will just say I give up now, 511 00:36:52.039 --> 00:36:55.079 this is just way too hard. I wasn't meant to be again. This, 512 00:36:55.639 --> 00:37:00.840 this being an alcoholic, it's just who I am and and just then 513 00:37:00.920 --> 00:37:04.440 stop trying. But you didn't. You went through three and you kept going 514 00:37:04.480 --> 00:37:07.800 making these small realization. So what what was your thought pattern with that, 515 00:37:07.880 --> 00:37:12.920 with each of the with of these relapses? You know, when I had 516 00:37:12.960 --> 00:37:19.679 my my awakening, when I initially decided to get sober, I had quit 517 00:37:19.840 --> 00:37:23.800 on myself so many times in my life. I should have I should have 518 00:37:23.880 --> 00:37:29.199 got it out and played football as a senior just for my own sake. 519 00:37:29.679 --> 00:37:36.239 I should have continued to try to come back and play college sports. I 520 00:37:36.239 --> 00:37:39.320 should have fessed up to where I messed up in my relationship with my ex 521 00:37:39.400 --> 00:37:44.159 fiance. I didn't have the courage to do that and when I decided to 522 00:37:44.199 --> 00:37:47.679 get sober, I made a firm choice and a firm commitment to myself that 523 00:37:47.760 --> 00:37:52.760 I was never ever going to quit on myself again, because I never wanted 524 00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:57.639 to feel that feeling ever again. So each time I have fallen off the 525 00:37:57.679 --> 00:38:01.679 bandwagon and gone off the rails, you know, that feeling of wanting to 526 00:38:01.760 --> 00:38:07.639 kill myself in those those suicidal ideations have come back and I'm aware of it 527 00:38:07.679 --> 00:38:10.199 now and I just realize, okay, it's time to die. To that 528 00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:15.760 where did I go wrong? I just use everything as a learning opportunity. 529 00:38:15.320 --> 00:38:19.320 I didn't look at it as if I quit. I said, you know 530 00:38:19.400 --> 00:38:22.920 what, I'm just going to get right back on the on the on the 531 00:38:22.960 --> 00:38:25.000 path and I'm going to keep the party rocking. I'm going to keep moving 532 00:38:25.039 --> 00:38:29.599 forward and I will figure this out. I do not care how many times 533 00:38:29.639 --> 00:38:34.159 it takes, I do not care what anybody says. It does not matter 534 00:38:34.159 --> 00:38:37.639 to me anymore. I'm going to move forward and figure this out. I'm 535 00:38:37.639 --> 00:38:43.800 going to use every single failure and downfall and everything that I've been through. 536 00:38:43.840 --> 00:38:45.920 I'm going to use it as a catalyst to push me forward and to motivate 537 00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:52.639 me. And over time I did. I cultivated a warrior mindset, which 538 00:38:52.679 --> 00:38:57.480 is, I think, something that a lot of people lack. I do. 539 00:38:58.039 --> 00:39:01.880 I'm honestly, I was very weak minded growing up. I was. 540 00:39:02.039 --> 00:39:07.119 I was physically very gifted and physically very tough, but very weak in mind 541 00:39:07.159 --> 00:39:13.079 and heart. And over time all of this pain and all these relapses of 542 00:39:13.079 --> 00:39:16.679 helped me to cultivate a warrior mindset. I think that if we're going to 543 00:39:16.760 --> 00:39:20.920 do anything in life, we have to be tough, like that's part of 544 00:39:20.920 --> 00:39:24.000 life. We have to keep moving forward. So I've just taken every single 545 00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:29.239 every single pain, every single downfall, every single screw up in my life. 546 00:39:29.280 --> 00:39:32.079 I take complete ownership for it. I say this is my fault, 547 00:39:32.159 --> 00:39:36.039 what can I do about it? What can I learn from this? And 548 00:39:36.079 --> 00:39:38.119 then I just reframe it in my mind as to how am I going to 549 00:39:38.159 --> 00:39:43.800 change this moving forward, and I take the necessary action to move myself forward 550 00:39:43.840 --> 00:39:46.719 in the direction of my dreams, which is where people mess up. Everyone 551 00:39:46.719 --> 00:39:50.920 thinks of what they want and they'll get authentic about what they want, which 552 00:39:50.960 --> 00:39:52.800 is important. You have to do that, but they lack the action. 553 00:39:52.960 --> 00:39:57.079 And I just keep taking action all the time. And, believe me, 554 00:39:57.199 --> 00:40:00.639 I still fail at tons of things every single day on a regular basis, 555 00:40:00.679 --> 00:40:04.599 but I've learned to love it like I enjoy it. I'm like, all 556 00:40:04.679 --> 00:40:07.400 right, this is what doesn't work and eventually, if I just keep chipping 557 00:40:07.440 --> 00:40:12.880 through these barriers, I'm going to figure out what does right. And then 558 00:40:13.280 --> 00:40:16.079 is the reframing. I like how you said that too, because that's that's 559 00:40:16.119 --> 00:40:19.840 a big piece when you look at everything that's going on. I mean everything's 560 00:40:19.840 --> 00:40:22.639 a big piece like this. All they're all puzzle pieces. We're just trying 561 00:40:22.679 --> 00:40:28.119 to make this, put this all together. But the idea that you own. 562 00:40:28.199 --> 00:40:30.440 What happened? Right, this is my fault. I did this. 563 00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:35.159 These are that the behaviors that that need to change, and I have these 564 00:40:35.199 --> 00:40:38.239 behaviors. So that's the negative behavior. Well, what's the polar opposite of 565 00:40:38.239 --> 00:40:42.119 that? And I can say, all right, then this is where I 566 00:40:42.199 --> 00:40:45.599 need to do. But those behaviors are habitual, and this is again why 567 00:40:45.639 --> 00:40:47.400 it takes time. Habits. Let you you know, we we form habits 568 00:40:47.400 --> 00:40:51.719 over time. We have to break them over time. So when you can 569 00:40:51.760 --> 00:40:55.320 refrain, like you said, reframe this idea and then go in that direction 570 00:40:55.400 --> 00:41:00.000 and rebuild that habit and replace it, you know, that negative with the 571 00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:04.320 positive, then you're stronger than you can move on and these are the learning 572 00:41:04.360 --> 00:41:07.239 lesson. Then you're what you're learning. Most of what these learning lessons are 573 00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:13.840 is about you again, these are the pieces that are attached to you that 574 00:41:13.920 --> 00:41:16.599 aren't your true self. And so that's the awareness. Could you mentioned the 575 00:41:16.679 --> 00:41:22.519 term awareness and as such, an an important piece, because you said I 576 00:41:22.559 --> 00:41:24.760 was aware. Now you're aware of the triggers and things that happen to you 577 00:41:24.800 --> 00:41:30.199 and you're aware of all these little aspects. And so is that awareness piece 578 00:41:30.239 --> 00:41:34.760 that really drive the change? And then this love of you said, the 579 00:41:34.760 --> 00:41:39.760 war the the lawyer mindset and and how a lot of people are lacking that. 580 00:41:40.159 --> 00:41:45.920 But they can have it. They can, they can definitely have some 581 00:41:45.960 --> 00:41:49.599 people will just again, we lie to ourselves and say, well, that's 582 00:41:49.639 --> 00:41:52.719 just not me. Well, it's not you, because you keep telling yourself 583 00:41:52.760 --> 00:41:55.599 it's not you. Change the way you talk, change your story and you 584 00:41:55.639 --> 00:42:00.599 can become that warrior. You can have that warrior mindset. Yeah, I 585 00:42:00.679 --> 00:42:04.840 mean I always tell people I'm in a constant war with myself in my mind, 586 00:42:05.480 --> 00:42:07.519 one of my favorite techniques, and I actually like, like I said, 587 00:42:07.519 --> 00:42:13.199 so my failures and downfalls and my character defects. I actually think it's 588 00:42:13.239 --> 00:42:15.519 like really fun when they try and mess with me. At this point, 589 00:42:15.880 --> 00:42:21.280 I just sit with it, like because I developed some weird habits and and 590 00:42:21.480 --> 00:42:27.039 my time with addiction, some OCD, and when that things like that come 591 00:42:27.119 --> 00:42:30.440 up, I just sit with it and I just watch the story go by 592 00:42:30.480 --> 00:42:34.400 and I'm just like nice, try, and then I just take the action 593 00:42:34.480 --> 00:42:38.840 associated with the exact opposite direction. Yeah, yeah, as this perfect, 594 00:42:38.880 --> 00:42:45.960 this perfect. So so now you're good. We've gone through all the all 595 00:42:46.000 --> 00:42:51.599 these aspects, and then you started this life coach. So like the the 596 00:42:51.679 --> 00:42:53.880 life transformation will just we'll just call it that, because that's really what what 597 00:42:53.960 --> 00:43:00.920 you're taking people through. So when people come to you, like what's the 598 00:43:00.960 --> 00:43:06.679 what's the starting process, and that in that piece, like, what if 599 00:43:06.679 --> 00:43:09.400 people want to work with you as a coach, like what should they know 600 00:43:09.480 --> 00:43:15.960 to bring to the table first? Yeah, honestly. So I help people. 601 00:43:15.960 --> 00:43:21.920 My Niche is helping people who are already sober staysober and then create their 602 00:43:22.000 --> 00:43:25.519 dream life, and I also help people with emotional trauma, whether it be 603 00:43:25.599 --> 00:43:30.000 depression, anxiety, any type of mental health is. You do the same 604 00:43:30.000 --> 00:43:34.440 thing. Create their dream life and adapt their lifestyle and accordance with what they 605 00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:37.039 want to create. The first thing you would need to do to work with 606 00:43:37.079 --> 00:43:43.159 me would just simply be to add me on facebook or Instagram, and then 607 00:43:43.239 --> 00:43:45.719 you can either comment on one of my posts or you can message me. 608 00:43:46.000 --> 00:43:50.519 The thing you would need to bring to the table is just be very clear 609 00:43:50.639 --> 00:43:53.199 on your problem. You don't need to have it figured out. The first 610 00:43:53.199 --> 00:43:55.960 thing you would do is just come to me with the issue at hand and 611 00:43:55.960 --> 00:44:00.920 then I would basically hop on a call with you and we can figure out 612 00:44:00.239 --> 00:44:05.159 what the necessary steps are going to be moving forward. And usually I offer 613 00:44:05.199 --> 00:44:08.119 a thirty to forty five minute free consultation called to start, and even if, 614 00:44:08.159 --> 00:44:10.639 at the end you don't want to work with me at that point, 615 00:44:10.639 --> 00:44:14.719 I'll still leave you walking away with a plan that's going to help you to 616 00:44:14.760 --> 00:44:21.119 move forward, going forward. That's cool. Yeah, I mean, yeah, 617 00:44:21.199 --> 00:44:25.400 and do you? Do you incorporate, because you have, you were 618 00:44:25.400 --> 00:44:29.960 seeing, you have the five ten so like when someone's coming to you and 619 00:44:29.960 --> 00:44:34.159 they say will do you incorporate the all five and then and then break out 620 00:44:34.199 --> 00:44:37.480 the steps, or or is it just we're only going to focus on one 621 00:44:37.519 --> 00:44:39.840 thing and then maybe will worry about the risk? Or do you really define 622 00:44:39.880 --> 00:44:45.440 that that major piece and then break out the steps of the five tenants? 623 00:44:45.639 --> 00:44:50.559 Yeah, so what we do is we identify the problem or your pain point, 624 00:44:50.599 --> 00:44:52.360 and then we also get clear on I look at it like a tree, 625 00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:57.199 so at the top of the tree is what is your life purpose or 626 00:44:57.239 --> 00:45:00.920 what is your dream, and then from there you've got your branches that come 627 00:45:00.960 --> 00:45:02.239 down so you'd like I said, you've got your rest in your sleep, 628 00:45:02.400 --> 00:45:07.440 you've got diet, you've got a spiritual practice, you've got relationships and you've 629 00:45:07.440 --> 00:45:10.800 got exercise or movement based off of your problem and what you want to create. 630 00:45:10.880 --> 00:45:15.599 We go through and we determine which ones we need to focus on immediately 631 00:45:15.639 --> 00:45:17.360 and which ones are going to go on the back burn and then what we 632 00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:22.639 do is we optimize your life and we give you exact APP action steps every 633 00:45:22.679 --> 00:45:24.480 single week that you're going to go through and you're going to do. And 634 00:45:24.519 --> 00:45:28.519 then each week you come back to me and you get a coaching call and 635 00:45:28.559 --> 00:45:30.840 we go through, we analyze what you were doing, what's working, what's 636 00:45:30.880 --> 00:45:36.559 not, and we slowly break down barriers and pain over time to a point 637 00:45:36.559 --> 00:45:40.599 where we get you to a place where your soul whole, that your your 638 00:45:40.760 --> 00:45:45.280 have they the opportunity to create what you want in your life. Yeah, 639 00:45:45.440 --> 00:45:52.639 that's that's awesome. That does that is that's that's the way to get it 640 00:45:52.679 --> 00:45:55.760 done. This is the way to get done. So, Alex, we're 641 00:45:55.760 --> 00:46:00.280 getting close to time here and love your story. You mean, I just 642 00:46:00.599 --> 00:46:04.599 like I'm already pumped, I'm ready to go, like I just when we 643 00:46:04.599 --> 00:46:08.039 have these conversations, I just get so, so amped because of the journey 644 00:46:08.079 --> 00:46:12.039 that you went through, where you came from and and how people can really 645 00:46:12.119 --> 00:46:16.119 learn from your mistakes. And so if they're resonating with that and they like 646 00:46:16.199 --> 00:46:20.840 man, he's gone through some things that I went through and I'm now. 647 00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:22.760 I'm sober now. I want to stay sober, but I want that that 648 00:46:22.840 --> 00:46:27.039 support. And you said, what they need to do is get in touch 649 00:46:27.079 --> 00:46:29.239 with you on facebook. So, but what is what's your is it? 650 00:46:29.440 --> 00:46:30.639 Is it a group? Group? Is of the page? How can I 651 00:46:30.639 --> 00:46:34.840 get in touch with you? Yeah, I run everything just off my regular 652 00:46:34.880 --> 00:46:38.000 facebook page. So you just search Alex Baal's be a ls or you can 653 00:46:38.039 --> 00:46:43.000 find me on instagram. That's sober fit Alex. you'll see all my contents 654 00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:45.440 of content. I'm posting stuff from all the PODCASTS I've been I recently. 655 00:46:45.920 --> 00:46:50.880 Just add me on there, send me a DM and, like I said, 656 00:46:51.000 --> 00:46:53.840 I'll give you a free thirty minute consultation call. If, at the 657 00:46:53.920 --> 00:46:58.000 end you don't want to work for me, that's totally cool. You'll still 658 00:46:58.000 --> 00:47:00.719 walk away with an exact plan and some exact steps as to what you can 659 00:47:00.760 --> 00:47:04.840 do moving forward. Also, if you want to just get ahold of me 660 00:47:04.880 --> 00:47:07.239 and you just want to chat, I love just connecting with people and building 661 00:47:07.239 --> 00:47:14.760 a community. Obviously, I'm in this too for the for the coaching, 662 00:47:14.800 --> 00:47:17.559 but I'm here just to serve as many of you as I possibly can. 663 00:47:17.599 --> 00:47:21.159 So if you just want to shoot me a message and ask me just a 664 00:47:21.199 --> 00:47:23.880 general question or or say hey, this is what's been going on in my 665 00:47:23.920 --> 00:47:28.480 life. Do you have any suggestions, I'm more than happy to answer questions 666 00:47:28.559 --> 00:47:30.639 or to interact with all of you. I'm here to give you value and 667 00:47:30.679 --> 00:47:34.960 to share as much as I possibly can. This is not about me, 668 00:47:35.239 --> 00:47:38.639 this is about other people and making the world a better place. Awesome, 669 00:47:38.880 --> 00:47:44.400 Alex. thank you so much for taking the time to come on to share 670 00:47:44.440 --> 00:47:47.880 your story and to just in your wisdom that you found through through your journey. 671 00:47:47.880 --> 00:47:51.440 So I appreciate the fact that you came on to the show to they 672 00:47:51.599 --> 00:47:53.119 yes, thank you so much for having me. It was an honor and 673 00:47:53.159 --> 00:47:57.800 I I'm just so gripfull I could connect with you and your audience. Awesome. 674 00:47:58.360 --> 00:48:00.280 Well, Alex, I'm going to say a we're going to sign off, 675 00:48:00.280 --> 00:48:04.679 but I'll say thank you again and for everybody else, we will be 676 00:48:04.760 --> 00:48:10.719 having conversations again real soon. Thanks for tuning in. If you've found value 677 00:48:10.719 --> 00:48:15.440 in this episode, the best thing you can do is to subscribe, rate 678 00:48:15.559 --> 00:48:19.280 or review this podcast. If you would like to further investigate how you can 679 00:48:19.280 --> 00:48:23.360 fill up your mindset, feel free to contact me through my website at Wwwa 680 00:48:23.760 --> 00:48:37.320 Gagginscom. Can't wait to catch you on the next episode.